Life- Piece of Craftwork

Wrapping Up A-Level

2011-09-20T01:17:00.001+08:00

By the time I’ve finished this post, I bet I have no idea what I’ve written in the beginning. It’s gonna be a long one, and it’s gonna take days, or maybe weeks.

Actually wanted to do something like that on the 2 years “anniversary” after entering A-Level, yes I’m a sucker for this kinda anniversary stuff, but work has caught up with me, wasn’t exactly in the mood to do such a post after a long day stoning at work. And this is the type of writing that I wanna do when I’m not in a foul mood and actually reflecting on what had happened. Hence, the delay.

And there you go, I’m rambling and that took up 2 paragraphs of nothing-ness. >.<
So…

It’s been 6 months since I’ve officially graduated from A-Level. Finished my exam on the 1st of February, got my results on 10th of March, and that pretty much ends my journey as a A-Level student.

Everything seems to be fading. I can’t remember a lot of things that has happened. Especially during the last semester. Everything happened in such a blur. Lotsa changes and it was different. But I’ve enjoyed it nonetheless.

I couldn’t possibly remember everything since sem1, so imma pick up from where I left off a year ago.. *Kah Jun, you’re in there.. x)*

Sem 3 has been hectic and yet relaxing in a way. Due to some admin issues, we only gotten our mentor list during sem 3. Which is really different compared to the other intakes. They’ve been having their mentor since sem 1 or 2, and they’ve started their uni applications way before we do. So everything is kinda rush for us. To be doing everything on our last semester. So we started off our last semester with lots of stress and everyone is edgy. With our final 2 units, which are also the toughest synoptic units chasing down our backs, we had to rush for our application deadline as well. I don’t even mention that we were all clueless on what to do for UCAS application. That’s how inefficient the people in charged was.

I remember being extremely stressed up writing my personal statement. I don’t know how am I gonna start, what am I suppose to write, what do they want me to write about. After having my draft ready, showed it to the MABECS people and Ms Lai, practically being told that it’s a piece of trash, God knows how I managed to finish up on the personal statement.

I am going to be honest and not lie. Now looking back at everything, it doesn’t seemed as stress as it has been. It might be all the stress that we were giving ourselves. Or maybe I just got influenced by Yan Le and Josh, who were both very stressed out bout their application. It’s prolly cause I’ve already been through it, all I could say is that, UK universities are very easy to get into. Personal statement is not that important. At least not as important as we thought it is. But I might be wrong, it also depends on what course you’re applying I suppose.

So I’ve spent my last semester break stressing bout this not so important personal statement, and also finishing up my internship hours in the A-Level department. I kinda enjoyed myself there. Mainly cause I’ve learned to like the people there, I get to know things I never would have know.

I had quite some problems during my whole application process. Being as fickle minded as I am, I couldn’t decide on which course to take between Pharmacy, Pharmacology and Biomedical Science. They are all so similar and yet different. I had a hard time deciding. After having plenty of long talks with Mr Ronnie, I finally decided on what to do. He has been in situations like this. Not getting what he wanted, but made the best out of it.

He who asked me, “do you want to be a realist, or an idealist?” He who told me that we are not necessarily what we choose to study. He said that out of his whole class in UPM, like only 2 of them are still in Bio related field after graduation, the rest of the class just somehow went into other fields. The future is unknown, we just do what we thought is best for us. He said that “You might feel better, more adventurous, and can do greater things being an idealist. But how often does those chances come along? At the end of the day, it’s the realist inside you that took charge and save the day.” Yes, he has told me a lot things like that. It might sound discouraging, but somehow it’s true. “Beggar can be chooser”, he said.

I’ve also spoken to Ms Lai, she who told me that she can see my interest lies in the research field. She thinks I should go into something more challenging. I’m surprised she can see that. I will, someday, when I get the chance to. For now, I’m just gonna be a realist.

All these long discussions happened during the period of time when I still don’t have a mentor. When everyone else does. Reason being I can’t decide on what to do, hence no mentor?! =.= I couldn’t actually ask my mentor to check my personal statement for me, I couldn’t actually ask my mentor for opinions, simply because I don’t have one. Yea, pretty much the lost sheep.

I remember asking Mr Ronnie to check my personal statement for me. He being him, refuses to check it for me. He insists that I get my mentor to check it for me. As pathetic as I can be, I whined about not having a mentor. They all laughed like mad cause I’m “unwanted”. I’d bug him on and off, and he’ll keep asking me whether I’ve gotten my mentor. Until one day,

Sir: Know who’s your mentor d a?
Me: Dunno, nobody wants me..
Yan Le: HIM LA! *pointing at Mr Ronnie*
Me: Huh? Really a? Sir.. really a?
Sir: Heh

The look on his face, was priceless. He was laughing so hard because apparently I’m the only one who doesn’t already know. Weird hmmm. And so, I became the only Pharmacy student under him, if I’m not mistaken.

Put all the uni application drama aside, I can’t really remember anything else happening in sem 3. It’s just everything here and there that made up my whole experience. So, I shall elaborate it on the way together with all the photos.

We had quite a lot of free time during sem 3. Partly because our class is awesome that way, and we finished our syllabus real fast! Partly because we only have 1 theory unit to do, 1 practical unit to do and it’s a pretty long semester. So yea, we have lots of free time just sitting and chatting in class. Well, the talking and chatting is not only restricted to free time, it happens during lesson as well! And we got really bored, we just go out of class, hang out at the waiting area, start doing some random things.

Getting all brain-freeze during Chemistry. With all the phenyl and benzenes and what nots reactions.

But also getting some pretty amazing coloured solution during labs as well.

Not forgetting the times where we’d all refused to go in for Physics classes because it’s SO boring! So we all sat outside of class, stoning.

This is the kinda faces that only comes out during physics class.

And all the fun moments we had in Bio lab. awww my Gary~ Mr Ronnie poked it so hard, took Gary more than 5 minutes to come back out.

The nonsense we did while waiting for experiments to proceed.

And Haran being stupid in class. Looking all over for his other side of shoe simply cause we hide it.

When I had to study in the dark for the mock next day during black out.

Saw things that we might not suppose to see..

Get some unexpected ‘present’..

Trying to be ‘smart’ during Chem mock…

The time we went to Manulife almost everyday, despite the horrible overpriced food they served us.

The time when I needed extra attention because I’m problematic that way. >.<

******************************************************************************************************

And here comes the best part, the part that I like the most, the part where I’m feeling all heavy hearted.

The last week of college. The time we started taking photos, cause it finally hit us. That college is ending, in another 5 days’ time.

So we went shopping for lecturers’ presents, and got Terence to be the model. But in the end it’s still not the right size, damn fail. x)

We spent a lot of time playing in class during the last week, playing Risk. A game that I don’t understand.

The guys seemed to be enjoying it very much!

While the rest of the class just couldn’t be bothered and played with my guitar/ chatting instead.

The last day, we brought our presents, and played with it. Especially Ms Lai’s Mini Cooper.

Bonding with Mr Ronnie.

And the clueless girls playing with the two huge ass DSLRs we had in class. xD It was hilarious how they fumble the thing around.

We also went for a farewell thingy together with Ms Lai at Sushi King. It’s her son’s favourite restaurant. She goes there at least three times a week. Oh god.

We also celebrated Hafiz’s birthday together as well. The boy was clueless.

We went Chillax with Mr Ling as well. Just a get together thing. An excuse to skip class. heh. Ended up him paying for us. Which made us feel kinda bad.

Also got Mr Ronnie to go Kajang satay with us. Since he’s a half vegan and all. Kinda hard to even ask him out. But we managed to! And made him played badminton as well!

And of course! We took photos with all the lecturers. Except Mr Noel. We kept saying that we’re gonna ask him out one day. But somehow we just don’t have the time and chance. Or maybe, we just didn’t put in enough effort. Sorry sir!

So lady first, Ms Lai’s class.
This, is my awesome Chemistry lecturer.

She has to be the most energetic teacher that I’ve been taught. Hands down. Even my PJK teacher wasn’t half as energetic as she is. If it’s not for her, we’d be sleeping in class half time. If it’s not for her, I wouldn’t have gotten A* for my Chemistry. And yes, even up till today, every time I thought of her, it’s still the image of her doing the ‘stretching and bending’ action.

Thank you for having faith in me when I doubted myself. Thank you for the times when you put our interest before everything elses. Thank you for thinking that I’m one of the smartest student you’ve taught, I bet the thought only lasted about one semester. >.< ( I overheard it during PLM heh ) And, thank you for making Chemistry an interesting subject for me!
You Go, Ms Lai!

Next up, Mr Ling’s class.
This, is my awesome Physics lecturer.

He is the most patient and soft spoken teacher that I know. Never once we heard him scold any of us, yell at any of us in class. Never. Even when we were crazily making a lot of noises in class. Plus, he’s super duper patient. If you ask him to explain something to you, he would. He would explain again and again and again. Well, whether you’d understand or not, that’s another story. We always pretend that we understand even if we don’t, just cause he has explained it for so many times. >.<

Thank you for putting up with all our nonsense in class. Thank you for being so so patient with us. Thank you for entertaining us while we made fun of you.
Salute you sir!

Now, Mr Ronnie’s class.
This, is my awesome Biology lecturer.

This man, is the most sarcastic teacher I’ve met so far. As sarcastic as a lecturer can be. He has already showed us what he’s capable of in our very first lesson together. And he teaches at the speed of train. If it’s not for him, I wouldn’t have had the writing speed I’m having now. So, thank you sir? He’s extremely mean as well. Till now I still have no idea why he calls me idiot, for no good reason. Mehh..
One of his best jokes..

Hypothalamus is the lamest part of the brain… *serious face*

So yes, if wasn’t for his lame jokes, we’d all fall asleep in Bio class long ago. Thank you for that. And thank you for making me realised that we are not in control of everything and there’s Someone out there, looking after us. Thank you for telling me that even if I don’t get what I wanted, it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad thing, things happened for a reason.
Thank you for everything sir!

Last but not least, Mr Noel’s class.
This, is my awesome Maths lecturer.

He is the most chilled out teacher ever! It has to be. Where to find lecturer that goes clubbing with the students?! Where to find lecturer that is totally cool with students skipping his classes. And wonder out loud how we’d managed to get A while doing so. He went out the most with us. Elvis’s birthday at the lookout point, Taman Connaught Pasar Malam, Josh’s farewell at Italianese.. He wouldn’t reject us if he could make it. Unlike Mr Ling and Mr Ronnie.
Best conversation we had with him..

Us: Sir, we’re not going to class later a.. going to watch Ip Man 2 now..
Sir: All of you..?
Us: Yeaaa..
Sir: Alright, cool. Class cancelled then. Bye~

But! When he’s teaching, he’s serious. We kinda made a deal, that’s when we study, we really do. And when we’re done with studying, we can play and relax all we want. This deal has been great for us. We did what we did and we did it well.

Thank you for making me understand that we have to fight for what we want. Nothing comes dropping down from the sky. Thank you for sharing all the dark ‘secrets’ with us. Thank you for bringing our class together.
You’re champion sir!

Oh god, this lengthy post is really long!

Now, moving onto my classmate. I should go according to alphabetical order, just not to trouble myself on who’s going first. xD

Anne Hoo

Where do I even begin.. hmm.. you’re the first classmate I met, at the registry. But sorry to say, we didn’t actually managed to ‘click’ that well. We've had our fights, well not physically but you get what I mean. We don’t see eye to eye on a lot of matter. In fact, we annoyed the shit out of each other. I remember there’s this time you’re real mad at me, for something I’ve said. But till this day, I still can’t remember what I’ve said. So yup. But girl, do know that I don’t hate or dislike you. I’m just annoyed at you, sometimes. Just like I did with everyone else. And I’m not saying that I’m not at fault, of course I am. Sometimes I just wanna annoy you for the fun of it. So, all is cool yea? I’ll be seeing you a lot in uni soon.. hah!

Deviyah

OK I’m not gonna spoilt your image by posting all your college photos since you’re running for the Miss Universe Malaysia 2012. This girl, not exactly close to her. Mainly cause she rarely shows up in class. Even if she does, she’s late half the time. But not all is bad, she’s super bubbly. I clearly remembers the times when she came crashing in Bio class, looking drunk, when she’s actually not, and mumbled something to herself and got the whole class burst out laughing. Had no idea what she said, but the scene is just hilarious. I guess she’s really determined with what she wants in life. She has always wanted to be a model, so I guess there, she did it. Even during the duration of our course, she’s already going for beauty pageant and stuff like that. Guess that explains the absentees..? Well, I’m glad you’ve found what you wanted and heading towards it. So all the best in your competition.

Edward Poh

Poh Poh! I always thought you look very familiar. Couldn’t actually pinpoint when I’d met you before. Until one day, you told me that you remembered me as the toilet girl! Then, the light bulb on top of my head literally lighted! Dude! You’re the one looking for toilet during orientation! hahaha.. well, what can I say. Have to thank you for being in our class. If wasn’t for you, we wouldn’t have anyone to tease, nobody to bully, nobody to poh poh poh poh around.. hah! And of course, nobody to belanja me Lemon Garden! Thanks man! oh, most importantly, I don’t have anyone to poke fun at. hahaha.. so yup, thank you for letting me bully and release my anger on you when I’m pissed.. Take care in UK alright.. *big hug*

Elvis Lim

How could anyone possibly forget bout you wei. You have been the entertainment in our Maths class, and Bio as well, until you decided to abandon us and dropped Bio. Did you see the look on Ronnie’s face, he has got nobody to pick on anymore in class. We don’t have any more jokes to laugh bout. But well, at least we still have you in Maths class. You’ve changed a lot since the 1st semester. I remember you being the 问题小孩 during the 1st sem. Sure, it drives us all nuts with your questions about the value of infinity, what’s inside the black hole et cetera. But you have tuned down a lot during sem 2. And sem 3 you’re almost emo in class. Nobody actually got used to that quiet Elvis. We’d prefer the old you. Though it’s annoying at times, driving all of us, especially Noel and Ms Lai crazy, but at least you’re happy that time. Anyhow, I’ll be seeing you a lot soon, since we’re in the same uni, so yup. Till then.

Hafiz

Dude! Look at all the facial expressions you have! LOL Honestly, I have no idea where did you come from. You just pop out in front of me during Chem lab one day. Introducing yourself as Hafiz and failed to remember my name. Hah! Having said that, I am glad you ended up in our class. Imagine how poor thing Haran would be if you didn’t. You’re one of the most random friends I have. You said the most random and lame things during class. Sometimes it just pops out of nowhere and crack us up. Well, I’ve miss you man. IMU is like a bloody big sucker that sucked you in and never to be found again. Haven’t seen you ever since our last paper. Which is darn long ago do you know that. I miss the times when I can just call your name for fun. We have to meet up one day alright! You kept saying promise but never did. Yes, I’m holding grudges against you. Till the next time we meet. hmmph!

Haran

Hahahahahahaharan! Till now it’s still this name in my phone. Hafiz’s partner in crime! And yes, I wanna tell you that “ YOU NEED TO CUT YOUR HAIR BRO!” Look at all the photos above.. your hair is never shorter than shoulder length! What is this, unacceptable! >.< I couldn’t understand how you ended up in A-Level at the age of 16, no idea how the private school thing works. But damn, you gotta be one smart kid to do that! And you still didn’t manage to teach me guitar, boohoo! Nonetheless, take care in UK, since you’re going there as well. Meet up when you’re back again alright.

Jonathan Tan

Brother! Since everyone is calling you that, can’t help but to follow suit and forgot what’s your real name at times. >.< It’s weird now that I’m thinking back. I rarely see you after class. Where did you went? You seldom mix with us after class. But still, you’re part of us no matter what. To me, you’re this serious guy who seldom jokes. But when you did, it’s always right at point. Thumbs up for that. Anyways, I’m going to see you a lot in uni as well. So, maybe more time for bonding then? See you soon..

Joshua Ng

Josh! One of my gay brothers. I have so much to say I don’t know where to begin. I miss you!!! No one text me at 2am just to tell me he can’t sleep anymore. My life sucks now. I want you to come back from India and bug me everyday like you used to. I miss all the times we had in class and after class! Well, thank you for being there for me these two years, listening to me rant on and on about pretty much the same stuff over and over again. And go ga-ga together with me over Ronnie. I still do think it’s really hilarious how you blushed the other time when you talk to him! Do know that I have a lot to tell you but I just don’t know how and where to begin. Kita tau sudah la. Take good care of yourself in India k! *hugs*

Lum

Lum a Lum. The guy that always send me back home and pick me up during trips. Well, not so much anymore near the end of semester. You know why la hor. But still, thank you for that. Thank you for being my Chem lab partner. We always improvised on our experiments and it turned out awesome! Hahaha. And I still have our 1st crystal ‘babies’ that we got together. lol Anyways, I hope you have fun in Monash. Come find me sometime! It’s so near my place only.

Shenn Chong

Johor girl! What can I say bout you. Hmmm.. Blur at times, nice to poke fun at. The only one that actually understands/pays attention in Mr Ling’s class..? One of my T634 buddy! xD Oh, and super health conscious! I don’t know how you manage to fry eggs with 2 drops of oil and eat all that oats for breakfast, lunch, dinner. And you’re not fat! So don’t torture yourself and only eat fruits as dinner k! Staying outside alone, you’ve got to know how to take care of yourself alright! Well, I’ve never really bonded with the girls in my class, but whatever time we spent together, I’m glad we did. Hope to see you soon girl!

Sheun

Sabah girl! Looks can definitely be deceiving! Hahaha. One of the nicest girl I know. Ahem. Not until I really know you. You are evil! x) Bully people like nobody’s business. At least I’d let you know I’m a bully. You don’t! lol But still, you’re super bubbly. One of my T634 buddy as well. We boneded over all the Bio theories. I’m glad I can help you in any way. Provided that I did la. Heh. It’s always nice to be talking to you. It’s relaxing, in a way. I could just watch the 3 of you fight and tease each other the whole afternoon. Haven’t been seeing you much lately, again, IMU is a big sucking hole. Catch up soon alright, when you decided to step away from IMU that is. haha

Shi Yun

Siao za boh! I never met anyone that laugh as much as you do! Really salute you for that. How could any single person possibly be laughing so much in their life!? About everything. Heh, you win woman! I had some of my best times in class just laughing with you. Very random but it really chills me down when I’m all stressed up. So thank you for that. You’re one gifted child! hahaha.. Have fun in Indon and take care alright.

Shok Chen

How could anyone possibly be so selfless, I do not know. But you’ve shown me how it is like. I still couldn’t be like you. It’d kill me! I guess we’ve had some good times together, just teasing each other. Yes, you’re actually someone that I can tease and not get mad. Really really appreciate what you’ve done for me these years. You too take care in Indon.

Terence Kong

Boss! You’re the first classmate that I got properly introduced to! By Mccall. Chemistry 神 he calls you. I still remember that. Well, thank you for pulling our class together. Organising outings and trips when I’m too lazy to be bothered. Helping me say things that I can’t really say given the situation I’m in. I treasure all the time we spent together, the times we keng sam si, the times we make things work. And thank you for putting up with all my temper. hehe.. I’ll see you soon, in uni. It’d be like A-Level all over again.

Yan Le

Finally it’s your turn! Which means I’m done with everyone in our class! hahaha. The other half of my gay brothers. The bad half. Hah! The 3 of us have grown to be really close throughout these two years. I know it may seems odd at times. I’m like stuck in between the both of you. Sorry for that. But still, I really appreciate you sharing what you’ve shared with me. We shall keep it our secret. Haven’t been seeing you at all lately. When’s the last time we met? 3 or 4 months ago? Again, I blame it on IMU. You’ve grown to love that place so much you kinda forgot that I still exist eh? I know you’ve been putting up with lots of my nonsense as well throughout the years. Thank you so much for being patient with me even though yelled and smacked you like nobody’s business. Then again, it still doesn’t make do with the whole you abandoning us thing! hmmph your treat the next time we meet up.

So, I guess I could now wrap up this uber long post! Thank you again, to everyone that I have or have not mentioned in this post. Those that are in my class and those that are not. Thank you for making my A-Level experience such a memorable one. You guys will be keep close to heart. Hopefully our PD trip is not the 1st and the last trip we had together. Do keep in touch alright peeps. Take care.

on my way..

2011-09-17T22:46:00.000+08:00

I'm beginning to work on my post to wrap up A Levels. I wanna do this slow, so that i wouldn't have miss anything out. It has been a great experience for me. Changed my perspective in life. I've been through events that'd changed my way in seeing things, changed me. Met people that I'd never thought would have matter to me so much. Explored that part within me that I've always been hiding from.

And yes, I do sound like I'm promoting A Levels, exaggerating it's awesomeness. Many might disagree with what I have to say. To them college in just high school without the school uniform. But honestly, when you've put your heart in it, embrace it and will for a change, and meant it, like I did, A Levels is the best thing that has happened to me so far. :)

drough

2011-09-12T22:42:00.000+08:00

i almost forgotten that this place exists.. how sorry.. >.<

but i'll try to post something to wrap up my A Levels journey so far..

Uni's gonna start soon and everything is not settle yet.. namely the accommodation.. which drives me nuts and making me edgier than ever. If my temper is bad last time.. this is worse.. if there's any other words madder than mad.. yea.. then im pretty much in that mood most of the time. Can't seem to understand how inefficient some people can be.

Truth be told, i'm at fault too for applying so late.. but my application was handed in 1 month and 2 weeks ago.. surely they'd already did something bout it, but no.. hell freaking no.. they just couldn't be bothered..

I reckon things are amplified for me as I've applied to the same uni in UK, so there's something to be compared to. Which ticks me off like crazy. There's no excuse if those people in UK can do things so efficiently and why can't you not..? We're all made up of approximately 3 billion base pairs, so are you trying to tell me that somehow the 3 billion base pairs half way across the globe can work faster than you do? seriously.!

I could go on and on when it comes to how unsatisfied i am with Nottingham Malaysia Campus's service.. the worst administration system i've encountered so far.

Endless vs No ending

2011-08-25T23:36:00.000+08:00

Some people said that true love doesn't have a happy ending because true love never ends.
So.. What about a love story without an ending? Are they the same thing?
Sometimes, the best thing is left unsaid. The ambiguity of what might or might not be. The beauty of not knowing.

I suppose this is when I'd be thankful that things never took another step forward between us. I suppose this is the point of equilibrium which is best for us.
I suppose this is where we could truly be ourselves and don't have to change for someone else.
I suppose this is US, being at where we belong.

放手也未成是一件坏事。
没有结局的故事并不代表它不完美。
有时候，模糊的界线让一切变得更有价值。
当两人徘徊在灰色地带，此时此刻大家都知道事情不只是有黑白两面。
暧昧也可以为你带来淡淡的微笑。
有些事，没有了结是对自己的安慰。

爱一个人，不需要拥有他，只要自己知道就好。
没有结局的故事，不需要完成它，只要能表达，能满足自己就好。

雾里看花，总比没得看好

For the First Time

2011-08-10T23:47:00.072+08:00

Went back today, with sue ann and her boy. Heh, am totally the lamp-post there.

I'm just looking for excuse to be back there. Back to the place that I used to love so much. Back to where I've enjoyed myself most. But not anymore after today.

Was suppose to meet up with a junior before her class starts, thought we could catch up a little, give me the chance to reminisce on what had been. But she doesn't have any class before that, waited for her, she came late and has a test to sit for. So all in all, I did practically nothing while I was waiting for her. If you consider getting my favourite cup of mango juice as achievement, then yea the only achievement for the day. Didn't meet up with the other lecturers as they are all having class. And it was gonna rain outside.

She finally came at around 12.20pm, saw her walk into the class. A class that I'm so familiar with, a class where all the memories of my A-Level life begin.

Coincidentally, or not, he happens to be in that class! Yes, shameless to admit, my heart skipped a beat. But once I saw the look on his face, it stopped and dropped.

It was cold, and distanced. I don't see familiarity in it.
Ok, to be honest, it's not as bad as I made it sound.. but still....
I could feel that the push was real, and my sad face is real. Even though you did smile, yes, the teasing way you always did, but I've already felt that pain.

I remember only saying 6 words to you...

It's the first time, and the only time where I have spoken so little words with you in one encounter. I did not stay to catch up. I did not look back. For the first time.
I walked in, and walked out. I did not look at you. I couldn't bring myself to see the look on your face. The look that nearly kill me.

You never did call me. If you did, I would have stayed for a bit. But you did not. So I suppose you didn't want to. It's best I just leave and save myself the embarrassment.

I don't know what went into me. Usually I'd joke with you and try to chat you up a bit. But this time, the rejection is too strong. Somehow I felt that we're both trying to avoid each other. Which is really weird cause you're not suppose to know.

So for the first time, I walked out on you. And breaking inside at the same time. It really is the first time I felt that we are such strangers. Of all the times we had together, I know deep down inside that it doesn't mean a thing to you. Most probably you didn't even remember it happening at all. But to me, it did. It meant the world to me. How you've grown to be such importance to me, I never know. It happened and you just do matter.

I wish there is a switch where I could just turn everything off and this will never have happened. But I couldn't.

It took all the courage I had to walk out from that door and not looking back at you. I'm afraid if I did, I'd stay. And it's of no good to any of us.

There are things that you would never know. And you should never know. God knows what will happen if you did. Everything would be so messed up. I have to keep everything inside me. And this is taking all the willpower I have had. I will never bring myself to do this and destroy everything. But somehow, my gut is telling me that you've already know.

It might be all in my head. Who knows in actually fact, in your head, nothing ever did happened. Nothing at all. Yes, that has to be the explanation. It's better that way too. For all I know, this is how you've been treating everyone. From what I've heard, it isn't that far off from how I'm being treated. So yea, it might be all in my head, me getting over excited for things that never have mattered to you. This is just who you are! But I just couldn't help it. It has to be something different, something we had that never had with others. I just, don't know anymore.

Little did I know, things like that happened to you every year. You're so used to it. I kept telling myself again and again that it doesn't mean a thing. But I just couldn't help it. This thought is the reason why it was so hard to walk away from you. The reason why you've appeared in my dream again and again, until recently.

I have to put this behind me. Things like this should never ever happen again. You've made it clear. And since I've walk away for once, I could have walk away again isn't it? But truth is, it's gonna break me, it is breaking me everytime I said goodbye. I'll never know when's the next time I'm seeing you again.

If there's ever a next time.

如果这就是爱情

2011-06-14T23:39:00.000+08:00

你做了选择 对的错的
我只能承认 心是痛的
怀疑你舍得 我被伤的那么深
就放声哭了 何必再强忍
我没有选择 我不再完整
原来最后的吻 如此冰冷
你只能默认 我要被割舍
眼看着 你走了

如果这不是结局 如果我还爱你
如果我愿相信 你就是唯一
如果你听到这里 如果你依然放弃
那这就是爱情 我难以抗拒
如果这就是爱情 本来就不公平
你不需要讲理 我可以离去
如果我成全了你 如果我能祝福你
那不是我看清 是我证明 我爱你
灰色的天空 无法猜透
多余的眼泪 无法挽留
什么都牵动 感觉真的好脆弱
被呵护的人 原来不是我
我不要你走 我不想放手
却又不能够奢求 同情的温柔
你可以自由 我愿意承受
把昨天 留给我

It might even be real

2011-05-28T17:16:00.000+08:00

I still couldn't decide. After so long. Ever since the 1st day I started applying through UCAS. I still can't decide. Of course I've had my preferences. But sometimes, you can't just want what you want. It's a battle between Bath and Nottingham. Which is for me? Or maybe, I shouldn't even be thinking about this. I'm not even sure I'm going or not.

Now dad's telling me that he might be able to send me over to UK. Which is suppose to be GREAT news! After all the adrenaline wears off, it got me thinking. So what if I really get to go there. My parents are gonna spend all their savings on me. For my first year only! Then what bout the next three years? Sink or swim? And the problem with my brother! What about him? If they're gonna spend all the money on me, there'll be nothing left for that poor boy. True enough, he is a pain in the ass, but still he's my bro.

This makes me real frustrated. At God. Sorry to say. I don't understand why. WHYYY? Why isn't these people giving me the scholarship that I deserve? Why is He making things difficult for me? And why couldn't I understand what's His plans for me?

For all I know, this is His way of telling me that UK isn't for me. Not for now.

If I'm to go, he'll have nothing left. And we both know damn well that there isn't gonna be any scholarships for him. Judging by his results. So yea, as cocky as it may sound, I stand a better chance at getting a scholarship. Which is all the more reason for me to feel like such a failure! Simple because I didn't get any. And this is making things difficult for everyone. It wouldn't be fair to him. But as the saying goes, life isn't fair. I just gotta learn and accept it the hard way.

I pray that daddy could figure this out.

That aside.
So what if I go....

Till now I still haven't have a clear picture. I can't see myself in neither Bath nor Nottingham. Which is right for me? I guess the whole "Bath's accommodation is more expensive than I thought" thing is not helping either. In fact, I'm surprised. Why is Bath's accommodation more expensive than Notts? The only answer that made sense to me, is that Notts has got bigger land, more choices, hence cheaper? I really do not know. Uni accommodation is a killer man. Am I really gonna spend around 4500 pounds, per annum, just on accommodation? Best part, when I convert everything back to Ringgit, I might as well roll over and die.

I don't know. I really do not know. There's so many things to take into consideration. Money is always a factor. Then comes quality of education, reputation, lifestyle... I don't know what's good for me anymore. I don't know what's His plans for me. What I do know is, He definitely have a plan for me. I'm just not there yet to understand it. =]

This Person

2011-05-20T21:20:00.001+08:00

There’s this person, that you think about every night before you sleep. The last person on your mind.
There’s this person, that you think about every morning when you wake up. The first person on your mind.
There’s this person, that makes you laugh. The person that makes you happy.
There’s this person, that makes you cry. The person that makes you sad.
There’s this person, that makes you mad. The person that you somehow just can’t stay mad with.
There’s this person, that is constantly on your mind. The person that you can’t live without.
There’s this person, that you want to talk to when you’re down. The person that cheers you up.
There’s this person, that you go to when you’re lost. The person that you trust and seek for advice.
There’s this person, that brightens up your day with an easy smile.
That throws you into the darkest abyss with an ignorant remark.
That makes you feel butterflies in your stomach with a simple gesture.
That is the salt in the wound when they ignore you.
That is the sunshine after the rain.
That rights all wrongs without doing anything.
That makes everything alright by just being present.
There’s this person, that makes you want to be a better being.
There’s this person, that makes you who you are today.
There’s this person, that is going through you’re mind right now.

This person, is the one you love.

my job

2011-05-06T23:06:00.000+08:00

3rd day of work.. still not liking my job.. well.. not really my job exactly.. i just dont like my boss.. what a bitch.

i'd prefer working with the other new pharmacist, a lady.. and Hency.. quite an auntie.. but funny how she calls uncle uncle.. that's what i call men of her age.. *roll eyes*

so on my 1st day..
there's this indian dude that came in... talking to himself.. then walked out again..
after 1 or 2 hours later.. he came back again! this time saying.. "I KNOW WHAT I WANT NOW.."..
super loud.. so we all stared at him.. then i started smirking.. he then throw two packets of condoms on the counter.. sweating and looked like in a rush.. hmmmm... it costs 16.90.. x)

2nd day.. nothing that interesting happened.. or not that i can remember.. besides my boss being bossy.. so yea.

then today~! that's the pregnant lady story.. @.@
this lady came in.. asking for pregnancy test kit, so i bring her to it.. and she asked bout it. so i explain lo.. she then ask me.. " have you tried this thing? is it reliable?"

i'm like WTF??!! WOMAN YOU STUPID OR BLIND?! which part of me look fucking knocked up? well she didnt see me eat so that doesn't count.. but really.. uggh

so yup... i have full day tmr.. my feet is gonna kill me.. no joke..

rage

2011-05-04T12:50:00.000+08:00

Yesterday has to be the worst day ever, since I started bumming. Reason being, I stopped bumming yesterday.

Was my 1st day at work. And boy. How wrong was I. I got a job because I'm bored at home. Have nothing else better to do. But mannnnn.. what shit have I gotten myself into. The hours felt like years. I checked my watch a gazillion times, only to see that it has been 15 minutes. Back at home, time flies. For all I know it's lunch time! Then after I woke up from nap, dinner time! But now, i walk and walk and walk and walk around the shop, wiped the shelf from top to bottom, left to right, it's still freaking 4pm!

omg.. what have i gotten myself into. I dislike my chinese educated colleagues. Please, I have nothing against chinese ed people, I am one myself. But really. You people failed at making small talks man. The shop is so quiet. I thought I'm all alone. uuugh..

Yes I hate my job. And it's only the 1st day.

Langkawi Trip Day 3

2011-04-16T22:35:00.001+08:00

10/8/2010 – 12/8/2010
Continuation from Day 1 & also Day 2

Day 3

Woke up dunno what time. Had breakfast across the road at the well, Breakfast Bar. The weather wasn’t good on the last day. It was cloudy when we woke up. Started drizzling after our breakfast. =/

Still decided to visit the Oriental Park even though it’s drizzling. Wanted to try our luck on the cable car. The journey there was a torture. Lets just say I went up to the wrong car, with the wrong driver, sitting at the wrong seat. >.<

Didn’t do anything much at the Oriental Village. The rain killed everything. So, we had lunch at USSR. A Russian restaurant recommended by Janice’s friend. Awesomest meal we had in this trip. xD

The restaurant is located beside the dock, so we see lots of yachts there.

These two dove right in when Keen King announced that he can’t finish the chicken.

A proper group picture. With faces. =)

USSR is the last stop in Langkawi. After the lunch, we just drove back to the airport. Which we soon found out that our flight was delayed, twice, due to the weather condition. Boo!

Dude! WTH?

There’s nothing much to see in the airport.

The irony.

Josh, you ok a? O_O

So yup. That’s basically it for our 3days 2 nights trip to Langkawi. Prolly explained why I thought the Port Dickson Trip was mehh..
Owh, just so you know,
the fare breakdown:

Accommodation RM65
Car Rental + Petrol RM36
Island hopping RM 35
Canoeing RM4
Chocolate + Meals RM151
Bus ticket + LRT RM20
Air ticket RM230
Total RM541

You can see that the air ticket consist of more than 50% of my expenditure. >.< All in all, I would say Langkawi Trip is awesome. Wouldn’t mind going there again. =)

Langkawi Trip Day 2

2011-04-16T22:15:00.001+08:00

10/8/2010 – 12/8/2010

Continue from Day 1

Day 2

Woke up around 8 or 9, can’t remember. Had some bread and biscuit for breakfast. Off we went for Island hopping. Visited Pulau Dayang Bunting, went eagle feeding and Pulau Beras Basah.

The pick up point for island hopping.

See what I meant when some are looking for sunscreen..? =.=

Pulau Dayang Bunting ( Island of the Pregnant Maiden). Can you see what I see?

Of course there’s a legend behind the name. Our boatman was telling us bout it. Can’t remember his exact words. So I’ll just steal something from the internet. =)

The island derives its name from Tasik Dayang Bunting (Lake of the Pregnant Maiden), the largest lake on Langkawi. The lake and the island are shrouded in legend. Tales of Mambang Sari and Mat Teja's ill-fated love story loom over one's mind as one cools off in the scintillating waters of the lake. The story of Mat Teja's courtship of his beloved and their sweet romantic endeavours take the tourists back into the world of nymphs and genies. Their love child did not survive long and the anguished mother bid her son farewell. The child is believed to have assumed the form of a white crocodile as she placed him in his watery grave. This crocodile guards the lake till date, natives hold, and is said to appear only to the pure at heart. Mambang Sari, overflowing with maternal affection and distraught at such a fortuity, blessed the waters that took her son into their fold with magical qualities. Since then, the natives believe that a sip of the waters of Tasik Dayang Bunting endows fertility to any childless woman.
Source: Langkawi

The Lake. The amazing thing is that it’s so close to the sea, yet it’s fresh water.

Canoeing

Guys took a dip in the lake. Trying to get pregnant? o.O the water is really really deep.

Eagle feeding. More like eagles sighting actually. The boatman feed. We look.

There really are a lot of eagles. Coming out of nowhere as fresh meat were thrown in the air.

The mangrove where we sighted eagles.

Pulau Beras Basah. The sand is really fine, almost mushy and white.

We had a game of Monkey and just basking in the sun.

The sand is almost clay like. That fine.

Everyone is just happily rolling in the beach. Super fun! And nice. Could never do that over any West Coast Beach.

The seawater is pretty clear too. At least we managed to see fishes. =D

The boatman gave us around an hour and half to spend over at the Pulau Beras Basah. After that, we are on our way back to the main island.

Drying our clothes in the strong wind.

We were back at the hotel a little after 1, bathed and of course starved. Had lunch at this Chinese restaurant nearby. Much more satisfying than our previous dinner.

Unfortunately, we did not order this. x.x

Our ride. One of it.

Spent some time (and money) at The Zone after lunch. Bought chocolates and Josh’s Aqua. x) Rested a bit in our room. The sun really is glaring out there. Ate some choc, played some stupid games and hit the beach again for volleyball around 6.

Lots of Ang Mohs sunbathing.

Saw some pretty buff hunks playing futsal. *_*

Love the super wide spread beach.

Had dinner at this Malay place. The food was uugh. Not even up to par. Seriously, Langkawi doesn’t seem to have good food. Blehh..

Same drinks, different colour. @.@

This is their so called Cheese Naan. ZOMG.. wanna kill them.

The very sad and unsatisfied faces.

Because the dinner was not filling, just like the night before. We walked a few stalls down, and had Sing Chau Char Beehoon. =D

Failed attempt at camwhoring.

After dinners, we all kinda decided to get some drinks. So off we went to the convenient store opposite our resort. Bought some beer and vodka and soft drinks.
Reason being, there’s a bottle of Johnny Walker and also red wine in the room. x)

Before…

After… The rather high-ed Yan Le

No eye see

Dudes started playing with kitty after a few drinks. xD

After all the lights went out on the beach, head back to our room to chill a bit. Had a game of Charade. It was hilarious. All the things that people do after a little dose of alcohol.

It was a long day.

To be continue.. Day 3

Langkawi Trip

2011-04-16T22:08:00.001+08:00

Surprise!! x)

I’ve finally decided to move my lazy bum and start on this post, reason being that I’ve really got nothing else better to do now. I know how way overdue this is. Still, I would like to write it down before I forgot e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.

Warning: This post is gonna be really looooooong. =)

So, we’ve started planning this trip since July 2010. One month before the actual trip date. More time for us to procrastinate and to settle all the flights and rental and stuff. Kudos to the organiser, Shern Yang. Great job there. And also Tanvir, who got us the awesome deal for accommodation. (Y)

There’s a total of 10 of us going on this trip together. All college mates. Namely Shern Yang, Tanvir, King, Hoong Yeap, Tze Yeang, Mccall, Josh, Yan Le, Janice and yours truly. ^^

We decided to take the flight to Langkawi as the travelling hour for bus is too long, the schedule really inconvenient for us and most importantly, it’s only a mere 30 bucks difference. If I’m not mistaken. So AirAsia it is.

10/08/2010-12/08/2010

Day 1
Those of us PJ people plus Mccall, met up at the KL Sentral LRT station, took the bus to LCCT. But knowing Janice, she pre-booked the bus ticket to LCCT, so she has to leave first without us. Genius. xD

Tze Yeang & Mccall, in the bus to LCCT

Reached LCCT around 50 minutes or so. Bus might be speeding, not too sure, was half way sleeping in the bus. >.<
Met up with everyone else there in front of McD, minus Tanvir and King that is. >:)

Shern Yang & I, in LCCT

Janice & Hoong Yeap, in LCCT

Joshua & Yan Le, in LCCT

We were the last few passenger to board, as we were frantically calling Tanvir and King. They weren’t there with us. Ended up, they’re taking the next flight. xD AirAsia refuse to let them board because they were late. <s> not so </s>Poor thing.

The plane that we took

Were shoo-ed away by the security when taking this photo. xD

It only took us around 40 minutes from took off till touched down. Definitely less than 45 minutes, was planning for a short nap, but tak jadi. Went to settle the car rentals in one of the counters at the Langkawi International Airport. Yes we only got our cars when we reach there, no pre-booking no nothing, don’t think it’s necessary. There are a lot companies there, just be extra careful not to get conned. The price range vary from 100+ per day to a couple hundreds.

Settling car rental.

The very excited Janice and Tze Yeang.

Off we went,heading to Pantai Cenang direction. The motel/ resort that we’re staying in is somewhere along that road. Managed to find that place after overshot once. Checked in. Washed up. The girls’ room was more like a resort kinda rumah papan, whereas the guys’ rooms are more modernised cement houses.

Our room, Lading. Not bad at all for 65 bucks 2 nights. (Y)

But they charge you for everything extra.

View right outside of our room.

Headed down to Kuah town for lunch. Nothing scrumptious. Just some small coffee shop for Wantan Mee. Tasted extremely good, prolly cause we were all starving. After that went over to some nearby mall to get our supply of drinking water and kill time. Just because we were waiting for Tanvir and King to touch down from the next flight.

Langkawi has really good tourist map. As compared to PD.

Picked the two jokers up from airport, went back to the resort and just chill and hang out a bit. Waiting for the sun to get less burning. Found out that the guys are more afraid of the sun than we girls are. Some were looking all over for sunscreen. *roll eyes*

Kill time.

Finally around 4-ish, we decided it’s good enough the weather. Actually we were all itching to hit the beach already. It’s right outside our room! So the 1st day was mostly spent on the beach. Where we (Mccall to be specific) played with hermit crabs, we played with Mccall, snapped lots of photos, met this couple from Chile, played volleyball, took jump shots and also played volleyball with the guai lous, Good day!

No, this is not where we stayed. More expensive.

The guys’ rooms were one of those white single storey behind.

Pantai Cenang

Volley ball!
The beach in Langkawi is more firm compared to PD, easier to run around.

L to R: King, Shern Yang, Janice, Tze Yeang, me, Joshua, Yan Le, Mccall, Hoong Yeap, Tanvir

Keen King

Sand Therapy. Josh was laughing really hard.

Sand man!

I took awesome kung fu pictures.. x)

Went back to our room to get clean around 7. We were all starving. >.<
Drove down to Kuah town again. Picked a halal restaurant and had dinner there. The food was okay only.

And we were unsatisfied. It has failed to fill our hungry stomach. So we went around town again, looking for things to eat. It’s only around 9, but most of the shops are closed. Found a Pizza Shop, where the owner passed away two weeks ago. And by the time we went in, they are closing up already. Weird place.

The posers. Note that they actually went behind the bar and started playing. The workers were too busy to notice. xD

Anticipating.

With all the food we da pao-ed, we could finally head back, contented. Hanged out in one of the guys room, makan. And played a couple of retarded games. The Mafia, Wink Wink game, and can’t remember. Owh, and we found out that Yan Le can’t wink. ;) It was already 3am when we decided to call it a day and went back to our room and sleep. Well not for Janice and I, we talked for another hour or so before we slowly doze off…

To be continue.. Day 2 & Day 3

working on it

2011-04-11T22:21:00.001+08:00

i shall start posting bout Langkawi.. I'm trying here.. but i really don't have the time. Well, true, i'm free now.. but my time is not continuous.. i need at least 2 or 3 hours to complete that.. all i have was a little hour and a half here.. 15 mins there.. I just don't like it. To have my train of thoughts being stopped.. like some police check.

So i'll try. For the post.

Not anything else. I have given up on you. Sometimes i really wanna yell in your face, tell you that
DUDE I AM TRYING HERE! It takes two hands to clap. It's not gonna work if i'm the only one trying. You kinda conveyed the message to me. To ask me keep trying, because when you get busy, you tend to be forgetful. That's what you SAY. But that's not what you've SHOWN me.. you have all the time for all the people in the world except me. How the heck is that suppose to make me feel?

So i chose to ignore. To ignore what I might actually be feeling inside. To ignore the fact that I actually still care bout you. You were there, you still are. Just that this feel is not mutual, maybe it never was.

I've done trying. With you

The fine line

2011-04-07T21:15:00.001+08:00

A friend just lost his mum. =(

I don’t care if you think i’m being insensitive for posting it in my blog. No names are mentioned. Sue me if you want girl.

Death. What do God said bout death? I’m not too sure.
Maybe we are going back Home. Somewhere that we finally belong. And will rest there. Forever. Maybe this human life is just a trip for us. For us to have a look at what we temptations are. Then only we’ll appreciate what we’re gonna have. Smart move Big Man.

Departure made us think. And remember. Remember what we’ve lost. Remind us what we had. Promise us what we gonna have. Soon. Made me think. I have not done enough. I have not done what I could. All I could. No. There’s a regret. And it pains me every time I thought bout it. I wish I could have a chance. To apologise. To tell them I’m sorry. But it’s too late. Time doesn’t wait.

The fine line between being protective and being selfish. You’ve crossed it.

This sucks

2011-04-02T00:13:00.000+08:00

Seeing the offer letters come into the post everyday.. seeing what they wrote in it.. all the information they've provided me with.. it feels like being slap again and again.. and best part.. it's like i asked for it. I fucking asked for it.

FUCK!!! hate this feeling seriously

Movies Update

2011-03-26T11:55:00.001+08:00

This is waaay overdue. heh, supposed to be last month’s post. I kick ass in procrastinating.

So finally went out to watch movies after almost 3 months of movie hiatus. The last movie I watch was Rapunzel.. XD

This time, went with Josh, Hoong Yeap, Tze Yeang and Yan Le. Not my usual gang, but I’ll have to make do. If not I might end up watching movies alone. Which is rather pathetic. =.=

1st up,
Burlesque!

Burlesque is a literary, dramatic or musical work intended to cause laughter by caricaturing the manner or spirit of serious works, or by ludicrous treatment of their subjects.^[1] The word derives from the Italian burlesco, which itself derives from the Italian burla – a joke, ridicule or mockery.^[2]

A later use of the term, particularly in the United States, refers to performances in a variety show format. These were popular from the 1860s to the 1940s, often in cabarets and clubs, as well as theatres, and featured bawdy comedy and female striptease.

Wikipedia do wonders for those who doesn’t know what it means. XD

It sure is weird watching this movie when half of them having no idea who Christina Aguilera is. o.O and of course, without the constant “ woah damn hot! woah legs damn long” coming from Ivan, it sure is weird.

But nevertheless, it’s a really good movie. I haven’t been that absorb into a movie since er.. can’t exactly remember. Just so you know, I tend to drift half way into a movie. Most of the time, I’ll be thinking bout something else about the character instead of following the story. But Burlesque is good. The songs are awesome.
If you have not watch it, watch it. Have not download the soundtrack, go download it. =)

Next up,
Sanctum

Well the story supposed to be happening at this Esa-ala Caves in South Pacific. In fact, there’s such caves but in the Papua New Guinea. Typical adventure story. About how these group of people faced with challenges and how <s> they </s> he got through it. Yes there’s only one survivor in the end.

What impressed me was that the whole film was shot in this gigantic tub of water in the studio. That’s how good the CGI and stuff is. Good enough to look darn real and convince us it’s in the real cave system. And it’s a Australia production. Something different from all the Hollywood films.
p/s if the aim of the movie is to scare the crap out of people for going cave diving, well done then!

And now this,
The King’s Speech

I know it’s this awesome Oscar-award-winning film. But. Of course there’s a big but coming. IMHO, I find it boring in a way. Maybe it’s just not my type of movie. It’s all slow and narrative. No excitement and boom boom pow for me. XD
Still, it’s a good movie. The special thing bout this show, is the production crew didn’t even expected it to be that good. They didn’t even put in enough budget for the subtitle. So yea! Kinda cool in a way.. lol Watch it if you have not.

Guess these three movies that I watched can be summed up by one word. Determination. The stories all revolved around this word.

And the last movie of the month,
I love HK..

I know right. Like wth. So different from all the other three movies. What to do. This is the kinda show my mum wants to watch. Then so be it.
For me, it was just ok only laaaa… not as funny as some friends claimed to be. Definitely not enough for me to laugh till fall from the seat. Guess I’m too used to the HK jokes d.. I find Taiwanese’s variety show much more funnier. Just the variety show though. Taiwan drama sucks to the max.

So yup. so much for a movie update for the Fabulous February. *i dunno where did that come from. >.< *

Not my choice

2011-03-24T18:21:00.001+08:00

I've been up to no good lately. Not in my context. Nope.
Doing something half-heartedly accounts to being up to no good.
It's not my intention, and my mind is not in there. I don't want it.
But just sometimes, well most of the time, what you want is not always a subset of what you can have.
I do it just because it'll make everyone around me keep quiet.
I know it's suppose to be good for me. I know it is supposed to.
But really, to ask me to do,be or live in somewhere that I don't want to, doesn't that mean torture to me?

Freaking Singapore Scholarship madness..

4 exact copies sealed and hand delivered to Singapore High Commission.

I know I don't have much choice. But I also know that what's best for me is what I've pour my heart in.
IMHO, I’d prefer staying here doing at Notts rather than going NUS. ‘nuff said.

uno uno uno

2011-03-22T12:26:00.001+08:00

There's ONE scholarship for me to apply!!

ONE!

ONE!!!!

and that makes me darn happy d.. XD
at least now I have a chance.. ONE chance. Better than nothing lo..
shall grab the chance and try my very best to get the scholarship!
then i can be on my way out of the country!!!

weeeee...
ok i need to stop getting ahead of myself.. >.<

at last

2011-03-18T23:35:00.000+08:00

It has been 2 years, since it all began..
sure. A lot has happened in these two years..
we laughed, smiled, hang out, fought, quarreled..
but somehow I'm glad that things went back to where it began.
I think only you could do such thing.
To make me feel like everything is alright and normal though it's not really like that.
You're blessed that way. People never stay mad at you. Never.

Of course, this is not how I've wanted to story to unfold. But this is the best I could get out of the situation. We could have move on. At least you did. So much faster than I do. I should be happy for you.. I am. Just that, it's hard you've gotta know that.

I know we were a mistake. You don't have to tell her it's your fault. It takes two hands to clap. =)
I'm relieved that we could talk now. Since we have not been talking ever since things gone bad for us. Yes I told you that I felt weird. And yes you said you know what I meant. But really, do you?
Things could have gotten much worse. And for one, I should know it better.. heh..
See now I have to thank you, for making things easier for me. You always did. =)

And we are back to square one. Back to the T junction. And now, we took the right turn.

骚

2011-03-18T12:34:00.000+08:00

我的他
她的他
天应该亮了
他应该醒了
想一整夜的我该死心了
我们都没有错
只是爱上同一个
好爱他好想他再这样下去
我只会更牵挂
爱到最后我们还是改变不了
祝福她拥有他所有的有情人终成眷属
你给过的美好
留在没有人到得了的地方

跟在你的背后
像影子般附和
或者倔强调头
转身大步就走
哼着那首情歌
要自己能快乐
我拖着落寞
一错再错
做不出选择
一生只能爱一个
我顾不了太多
守着你坐过的空位
想象着你轮廓
谁说一生不只爱一个
我不管那么多
沦陷在有你的空间
跟着回忆唱歌

o0o Shit-a-pore

2011-03-16T23:37:00.000+08:00

SCREW SINGAPORE MAN!!

FUCKING SCREW THAT FUCKING SINGAPORE!!

WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SO GOD DAMN TROUBLESOME HUH????

FML

I DON'T EVEN WANNA GO THERE. WHY THE HECK AM I PUTTING IN SO MUCH SHIT ASS EFFORT INTO APPLYING FOR UNIS AND SCHOLARSHIPS HUH??

JUST BECAUSE FUCKING SINGAPORE IS THE ONLY COUNTRY THAT GIVES TONS OF SCHOLARSHIPS.

REALLY I SHOULD JUST SPEND MY TIME APPLYING SOME OTHER SCHOLARSHIPS THAT WILL SEND ME TO UK INSTEAD OF SINGFUCKINGPORE.

AND THAT INSANE COUNTRY WANTED 4 COPIES OF EVERYTHING!!
AS IF ONE COPY IS NOT TORTURING ENOUGH????!!!

GO DIE

Feels darn good..

2011-03-14T17:17:00.001+08:00

Went back to college today. After like 3 months plus. Yea.. the last time was during my last paper.. physics 5.. zomg.. and that period of time didnt really count, the only college compound I stepped into was Wisma HELP. That doesn’t really count as college, for me. And last Thursday was in Main Block. That doesn’t count too. So yes.. more than 3 months most definitely. =(

And now. It feels so damn good to be back there. I wouldn’t never ever have thought that I would actually miss being in college. It was miserable. At least that’s how it made me feel. It’s just 2 office-like building. And have I mention.. the food sucks. But boyy.. it sure feels good to be back today. The sense of familiarity, the memories of what had and what was. Awesome.

Though not everything it’s the same. I suppose that’s part of the reasons why it felt so good to me. heh.. No longer a student there, that makes me feel relieved. Like I’m The King! I could just walk in and out, up and down, into my lecturers’ classes like i owned that freaking place. And for once, or maybe this time only, I felt superior! XD
Childish I know. But it’s true. I didn’t bother bout what the juniors think of me or us. With all due respect, I don’t give a damn to who they are. They are no longer in my way. I don’t have to face them in college for class, fighting for parking spots or whatever shit. And thank God I don’t have to. Who could stand those brats.

Anyways.. back to the story..

So left home around 10 today, go JPJ to renew Hoong Yeap’s licence. I don’t even wanna go there. What kinda government with brain will hide a department behind lots of lots of trees!? And bushes? omg took us like half an hour to find the entrance? kns

Headed to Amcorp Mall next. Just to send Post Laju to Shenn! OMG!! That two piece of shit cost me 5 bucks!!!! Ma de I can print 5000 copies for you d la!! And not to mention the parking at Amcorp Mall is like cut throat kao kao! WTH. Two hours for 4 bucks! And that place is like kinda no life. And we are only in there for less than half an hour!! @$&^%%#@%$#!!!!!!

* You can see I’m in a not so good mood throughout the whole morning. And it all changes the minute I stepped into college. Maybe, maybe it’s just the weather >.< *

Looking for parking at 11.40am in college is a major disaster! If it’s not for HY’s kancil, I doubted we can pass through some of the narrow <s> space</s> road.
Ended up parking at the KPD there instead. Another 9 bucks gone! =.=

When we got up to the A Level’s department, oh fml. The amount of people crowding over Ronald’s office door, it’s like pasar malam. *shaking my head*
As usual, he still hasn’t got our thing ready yet, though already told him we coming at 11.. that time was already 12.. plus. So we hang around, looking for lecturers! teehee.. this makes me a happy girl. =D

Found Miss Lai! Finally get to clarify that I’m not such ungrateful person that didn’t thank her for getting such results. Yes she thought I was being ungrateful, in a way. Not my fault that a sent message didn’t appear in her inbox k! I texted all the 4 lecturers. All of them replied me except her.. oh the agony of rejection. Anyways, she was too busy to have lunch with us. Have class straight till 4pm. Too bad then.

Found Mr Noel! He forever free de.. So we decoded to have lunch with him. And he belanja-ed us! Which makes me feel super guilty. Cause we still owe him his birthday/ thank you dinner. Need to find some time d.. =/

Mr Ling came up to have a lil chat after his class. Before that when we looked for him. He’s having class. And he told us he’s “free”.. o.O weird man.

Then. THEN!! Saw Mr Ronnie! Jeng jeng jeng, I happy d! Kthanksbye end of story!

LOL

Eh not everyone can pull of a pink formal shirt and still look so manly and adorable at the same time k! *i think i’ve talk too much now*
I think it’s just me. I feel revitalised just catching up with him. lol wtf. ss je.

So all in all, it’s good. It’s great. This little visit could maybe last me another 3 months before I feel miserable again. But I’ll make sure I visit in less than 3 months time! =p

ohmyword
i kept smiling to myself
thinking bout you
not cool.. >.<

What's missing is the atmosphere

2011-03-10T18:06:00.002+08:00

I couldn't ask for more. Quite literally. Well I could. But that was impossible. So yes. I'm very contented. It's the best I could get. So be it.

After all the interview and photoshoot, finally have some time to sit down and take a good look at the two pieces of paper. I haven't quite digested it yet. There's still adrenaline rushing in my veins.

But somehow, something, somewhere doesn't feel right. I know deep down in me, it doesn't really meant anything to me.
There isn't friends, lots of them, to scream and jump around with you.
There isn't family, all of them, to pat your back and show you how proud they are with the smile.
There isn't teachers/ lecturers, those that mattered, to congratulate you and share your joy and to let you show your appreciation to them.
There isn't celebration with those friends that you thought you could keep close to heart.

The view at the end of the road is not important. The journey towards it is.

So yea, it doesn't feel right. To be downright honest, it didn't feel half as good as when I've gotten my SPM results. It's disappointing.

But also at the same time, it lets me see clearly of one person. What and who that really mattered to them. No matter how flowery and how assuring their words could be, it's just sugar coating of a really bitter nauseating pill. And that, is enough to make me stay away and be careful around one person.

I know I sound like some ungrateful brat when really I should be over the moon now. But honestly this is the true feeling behind all the plastered smiles. And it's not a beautiful scene.

lup dup lup dup lup dup x 1000000

2011-03-09T17:39:00.001+08:00

RESULT'S COMING OUT TOMORROW!!!!!

do i need to say more?

More than mere 3 points.

2011-03-07T23:31:00.001+08:00

My first time going out with friends more a BPL game. World Cup 2010 doesn’t really count. And boy, am I glad I went out for the match.

Back at home, the only possible scenario will be my brother and I, each occupied one end of the sofa, with me cursing endlessly (like last weekend’s West Ham game), with my bro being extremely quiet. You will not believe that he’s a football fan if you don’t already know him. The lack of passion, and emotions, mehh.. potong max.

The initial plan was to watch it in McDs.. but was full when we got there, and another friend was gotten a place at Banana Leaf, so bunk there instead. But after half time, we still ended up in McDs.. heh.. Spare all the details. I LOVE THE ATMOSPHERE THERE! not literally there at Banana Leaf, but out there! With all the crazy fans! Be it the Kopites or Manures! There is someone to shout and curse and scream and aaaaahhh with you in every moment!

Man! It sure feels good.
Now about the match.

WE freaking hell put up with a damn well fight! And for those manure who said that they being generous and all those manure made it an easy game for us.. bullyourfuckingshit. sorry but i think it’s really necessary. =)

If it’s that easy a game, if it’s that small a crisis, well don’t blank out the media after the match. Don’t get ur players to cry over paper cuts. What a disgrace. For a big and <s>in</s>famous club to do such thing? Shame on you guys.

All in all, it was a good game. Of course the 3 points are important. But this is not only bout points. To be downright honest, we have not much chance of ending the season in top 4. BUT, at least we get to trashed the manures! wuahahaha.. in home ground! and man, when the Kop started singing YNWA in Anfield near 80 minutes, THAT was phenomenal! I vowed to myself that one day, one day I will visit there, for a match, against the manure if it’s possible!

Not forgetting, they also sang the birthday song for King Kenny. I don’t remember or know any of the other fans of any other club did such thing for their manager. Never. This is what made us, US!

If only we could play like this for the rest of the season, then maybe, just maybe, we had a chance in closing up the gaps.. hmmm.. really do hope so..

For those we missed the match, for whatever reason, something you might wanna watch if you have no idea what I’m talking bout. =)

The Goal Videos! 3-1 babeh! =D

And you can’t find this in any other stadium. The passion! Whole stadium singing a birthday song. No joke.

Heroes for the night! A freaking hattrick against Manure! ^^V

Our star players! <3

How ironic is that.. XD

And this is Anfield! =)

not much of a please?

2011-02-28T15:39:00.000+08:00

I'm gonna remove my cbox.. it's getting rather annoying. And.. I think it's better if anyone.. if there's still any to begin with... who is reading my blog, wanted to left a message or have something to say regarding my posts.. I think it's better you just leave it as a comment.. =)

Messages in cbox fade.. replaced.. but not comments under the posts..

Humiliation

2011-02-28T00:36:00.001+08:00

is the abasement of pride, which creates mortification or leads to a state of being humbled or reduced to lowliness or submission.

And we’ve got that slapped right in our face tonight!

Somehow, the score line went wrong. It is not supposed to be that way. it is not what we started off with. It is not what we expected it to be.. IT IS THE WRONG WAY AROUND!

I get my hopes up. Hoping this could be another win for us. Another point closer to Chelshit. And my hope lasted for only 22 minutes. Then all hell broke loose.

Kuyt wasn’t himself.. Meireles looked kinda hopeless at some point.. Gerrard did nothing much.. The defences are day dreaming.. except for Carra.. and PEPE!!!! GOODNESS GRACIOUS ME!! WTF IS HE DOING?? dude.. you don’t just stare at the ball when it flies towards you.. panning or what now?? I didn’t know since when Reina took up photography lessons! man.. !! That was some awful awful display by our men!

So yes.. we deserved the lost to a team which soon be relegated but thanks to us not so much now.. we played like crap.. we have no one to blame. and no excuse is acceptable for mistakes like that..

And now, with a very promising Kelly down with hamstring tear.. and Meireles a knee injury.. I’m not sure if I could stay optimistic on next week clash with the Manure.. pfft… I guess this is when you start singing YNWA and have faith.. Believing in something that your heart believed in but not your mind..

I feel you sir..

"It's not just losing that's disappointing - it's the way we played."---- Kenny Dalglish

words failed me..

Port Dickson Trip

2011-02-24T14:52:00.001+08:00

ok.. Where should i begin.. hmm.. We’ve plan this trip even before exams finish. I still remember vividly, it’s while waiting for M1 paper to start in Roti Man. =)

PD wasn’t the initial destination. We wanted to go Gem Island. Then, we found out that it’s still monsoon, Gem Island is closed down, not until the end of Feb. PLUS, it’s a private island, so everything will be pretty darn expensive. So, Gem Island scratched out.

The next target was Cameron Highland. The planning was during CNY. It got me so hyped up. Excited! Haven’t been to Cameron for years. We’ve gather all the people we need. Then, the problem surfaced. We’ve got not enough transport. Only one car. The others, parents thought it would be too dangerous to drive up to Cameron, we were asked to take bus. With all due respect, I have no idea what these parents thinking. Seriously? Bus? Up Cameron? I’d trust my friend’s driving rather than some random bus driver. So, Cameron, scratched that.

* this post is getting longer than I expected*

So, how we arrived at our final destination (wow sounded weird), it was a last minute thing. Edward suddenly mention that he had an apartment in Port Dickson. So, desperate for an outing. We just agreed. And since PD is supposedly be AN HOUR drive away (I’ll explain that later), we could get enough people driving so Port Dickson it is!

15/02/2011 – 17/02/2011

Day 1
Lum came pick me up at 7 freaking 45 am!! Gosh, I bet the rest of them have not wake up yet! We reached Yan Le’s place in less than 20 minutes. And Josh is already there. So yay! We are super early. Oh, btw, we are supposed to meet the others at 9am, on the highway. How? I have no idea. So we were super early. 8.30am and we were wandering around. At last, we decided to head over to Edward’s as Shok Chen is picking them there. Good job la, when we got there, Elvis and Terence just woke up, only Edward looks presentable and Shok Chen is nowhere to be seen. But, somehow she reached at 9am sharp (which is the time we supposed to meet at the highway). And after all the dilly dally stuff, we hit the highway at 9.30am. Finally, thank God.

I have to post this up la.. Edward!! see what your dogs did to my leg! They just came rushing and started licking and jumping on me. Then one of them, which obviously didn’t get their nails cut, left me with 3 beautiful scratches. ~.~

And look! We arrived at Seremban at 10.13am! That’s after we went round the city centre, made various calls and ended up at some random hawker stall to have breakfast. The other car is 31km away from Seremban. And it take around 20 minutes from Seremban to PD. So, total journey.. er.. do the math yourselves. =P

After breakfast, we continued with our journey down south. Stopped by at the Tourist Info Centre to get a PD map. I kesian the lady working there. Who’s gonna drop by there really.

The new Seremban-Port Dickson highway. Very nice indeed. With a RM3.20 toll I think.

So we finally arrived at Edward’s apartment. Seri Bulan. It’s towards the left of the only roundabout in PD.

And guys being guys, already started to gamble. *shakes head*

After a bit of rest and wash up, we head out for lunch. At this Chinese restaurant. Apparently it’s THE restaurant to go to when you visit PD. But hell no. The food so so only. And one thing I can say for sure, PD’s best-est food is nothing compared to back in PJ/KL. So, no food photos from PD.

Went to do some grocery shopping after lunch. Get stuff for our dinner. The initial plan was to BBQ at night. But then we decide it’s too troublesome. So we’ll just cook at home.
Also, as we are not satisfied with the location of the apartment (too far from beach), the 4 of us, from one car, decided to go beach/resort hopping. Hoping to find a nice beach and rent one night at the resort to get access to the beach, while the other car head back and take care of the groceries.

1st, we dropped by Corus Paradise Resort, and the apartment next to it. We checked out the apartment, RM170 a night max 3 pax. Ok. Quite reasonable. Then we went to the balcony and check out the view. Goodness me. I think because of low tide or whatever reason. The lagoon was super dried up. Conclusion: ugly beach. Time to go.

Then, we checked out Bayu Beach Resort. Looks not bad. Thinking that it’s a private beach. Then we notice there’s a small slip road of the side. So.. it’s not a private beach after all! Meaning we don’t have to get a night there to have access to the beach. Listed.

Next up, Selesa Beach Resort. hmmm.. Mr. Ronnie highly recommended this. According to him, Selesa has the cleanest and nicest beach in PD. Which is true! We parked the car in front of the resort. Walked right into the reception. And boy! It was so intimidating. Maybe because it’s off peak season, there are no tourists or whatsoever. The place looked so darn deserted like some ghost town. Decided call up Mr. Ronnie and I can’t remember how to conversation goes. But somehow during the phone call, we managed to walk across the lobby and to the pool side! LOL
And true, the beach is the nicest and cleanest among all the beaches we visited! Note that it’s only the beach, the sand, white and clean. the seawater was @.@ just a wee bit better than Penang’s. But there’s a futsal court and volleyball court! So Selesa it is then. We promised ourselves that we’ll come back the next day.

We also went to check out the beach just behind the apartment. How glad I am that we’re not gonna hang out there. x.x

When we got back into the apartment. Half the guys are missing, and the rest are sleeping. So sleep it is. After awhile, Edward called to tell that this fella offered a package to go snorkelling in Blue Lagoon. The place where Mr.Ronnie told us to forget bout it unless we wanna see UFOs. XD
But still, we wanna see that place for ourselves so asked them to come back and head down to Blue Lagoon.

Still puzzled over the name Blue Lagoon though. Maybe they should rename it Green Lagoon instead.

So we bailed and went the opposite direction. Generally, I think beaches to the left of roundabout pretty much sucked. So we’re heading towards the right of roundabout.

Better. But the seawater is still.. no comment. And maybe because it’s a public holiday, plus public beach. It’s packed. Quite.

What a romantic, sand castle with a heart shape.. lol

Which eventually got destroyed. >.<

So much for a group photo. It was rather boring at the beach as we have no intention of dipping ourselves in the seawater. So we went back get cleaned and prepared dinner.

This has to be the grossest thing happened during the trip. Eating potong in the toilet while preparing to mop the floor.. ~.~

After resting for awhile, we head out to the beach again. To look for crabs and seashells as suggested by Mr. Ronnie. >.< Happening stuff he said.

Managed to find lots of crabs holes.

It was very low tide. And yes, we could walk further down the beach.

Selesa Beach Resort.

After much walking and digging, we chilled at the cafe beside. They were almost closing already.

Elvis managed to capture one relatively big crab. heh

And the night ended with this photo! lmao

* and man!! I am too long winded. One day and it’s already so long. ok gonna cut short d. *

Day 2

Went to the Cape Rachado lighthouse. Little did we know, we have to trek up there. Heh.

Strait of Malacca

Some random resort and beach nearby the Tanjung Tuan Hutan.

Went down to Seremban to pick Shenn up during lunch. Had lunch in Seremban city centre. Nothing impressive, hence the lack of photos in Seremban. Two words: FREAKING HOT!

After lunch and picking her up, we went straight to the Selesa Beach. At 3pm. The two words can very much be use here too. heh

The guys were all excited and gung-ho. So yea..

Fly kite some more. Mad cow.

While some sane ppl decided to rest under the shade. In Selesa’s property.. XD

And when the sun go down a little, just a little. We played volleyball. And being the camera person.. all i got was to watch.. mehh.. ok la.. played at little in the end.. before it started drizzling.. @.@

Terence aimed the ball right at me.. =.=

After that was a game of futsal when our arms were sore. hah

Selesa looked rather good even though it’s raining. =)

After dinner at this restaurant that sir recommended, (food so so only la…) ta pao some pasar malam food, and bought some beer.. went back.. and these ppl gamble again.. =_=

Yan Le decided to come in kacau when we having our girls talk.. so.. hehe.. so became Shok Chen’s Specimen 101.. XD such a vain pot.. tsk tsk
Apparently he’s very concerned with his dark circles and eye bags.. guys..

And this pretty much marks the end of day 2..

Day 3

oh thank goodness finally.. woke up, had our breakfast, packed our stuffs, cleaned the apartment and there, we’re done with PD. Next stop, Melaka.

Took the old kampung road instead of the highway. And it’s some coastal road.

Arrived at Melaka at a little passed an hour.

The main reason we headed down to Melaka was for the Durian Cendol. Yes we can drive an hour down just for some cendol. Which I didn’t eat much. heh

According to Terence, they have the best Durian Cendol in Jonker Street.

We pretty much walked around, wan kat around.. before having chicken rice balls for lunch.

So yea… went home after lunch! I have no idea what happened on the way back.. cause was too busy sleeping.. =P

yes. This is our 3 days 2 nights Seremban – Port Dickson – Melaka Class Trip for you..

p/s took me 2 freaking hours plus!! uggh.. reason why I’m so lazy for update. >.<

their start

2011-02-21T22:30:00.000+08:00

not mine. I've no idea when will it be for me. or rather where.

It's a new beginning for them. A fresh start. An accomplishment. Chance to move up and forward. And when will it be my turn?

Friends had their uni orientation today. Be it local or overseas. They all decided to rub it in my face on the same day. Well, to be optimistic, I'll only have to feel rejected once. yay or nay?

Friends got their results to day. Be it STPM or ACCA. They all decided to put pressure on me in the same day. Again, to be optimistic, I got all the shit in the same day. yay or nay?

Everyone seems to have their future planned and laid out ahead of them. Or at least they try/ pretend to. Whereas for me, it's too much uncertainties. To be honest, I can't see myself doing anything anywhere. It's like when I'm trying to look into my future in the crystal globe, all I see is a thick layer of mist. That bad. Nothing is for sure.

But one thing.. I could be sure of, simply because I could feel it. Is the pressure. Silly isn't it. Now that exams are over.. and i'm practically like a free-loather.. My life should be stress-free and all. But hell no. With friends getting extremely good results. 4 flats. Seriously?? It's putting massive amount of pressure on me. Will I do as well as them? I could only pray.

But still, for those who started uni, all the best! And for those who got their results, congrats! =)

I should make an effort to update more frequently. I'll work it backwards.. next up.. my ~~not so great~~ PD trip.. mehh

In-justice

2011-02-19T17:48:00.000+08:00

how is life fair when coming from a wealthy family could get you into a uni you wanted instead of good grades?

just saying.. things like this makes me feel really frustrated! i need to rant and just get it out of my system..

that aside.. my holidays have just begin.. it'll be months long holiday.. before i decided to find a job/ rot at home..

Step up

2011-02-03T21:08:00.000+08:00

hola! I'm finally done with my exams. Which also means.. I'm done with my A Levels. Gosh.. it has been a really long journey.. Friends have already done with their 1st year and starting their 2nd year. And yet, I'm just done with Pre-U.. but oh wells.. why the rush, according to Ivan.. since i'm only interested in elder guys.. i might as well go slowly why the rush since the guys gonna be old anyways.. =.= but come to think of it, wouldn't the guys be younger instead since i'm lagging behind and all these guys are younger than me... cheh.. phail!!

and my thought are now all tanggled and messed up.. yes the whole exam thing is not really behind me yet.. and with chinese new year.. and books that i wanna read.. episodes that i've yet to watch.. and skills that i need to pick up.. yes i'm all over the place now.. and also partly due to the reason that i'm watching australian junior master chef now.. lol..

so.. i'll have to run now.. and.. proper update when cny is over and yes i remember all the overdue posts that i think i promised to post about.. hehe..

2011-01-27T21:25:00.002+08:00

I AM SO GONNA MISS YOU...!!!!

=(

Hodgson's out, so what now?

2011-01-09T11:42:00.000+08:00

It's all well and good people disliking him or disliking Manchester United, but it doesn't mean you don't respect what other people have done in football. --- Kenny Dalglish

you see, I think the same could be apply to Roy.
So the man has left Liverpool, under mutual consent. But I'm pretty sure everyone knows that he's been sacked. And I think he's the only manager that left without lifting any trophy.

I can't help but to pity Roy Hodgson.

We'll never know how he's thinking. What has he put in for the Club. But it's definitely not something that we've all been expecting. For goodness sake! The club he was managing is Liverpool. Do you seriously think that ended up at the 12th position after half a season, a very terrible half season could make the fans happy. Most definitely not. What I could say is that he's been here as the club's manager at a very wrong timing. Maybe he's just not meant to be. Or maybe he wasn't given enough time. But judging from our situation now, with all the match piling up on our back, time is not exactly our best friend. Or maybe people just doesn't trust him enough.

Imagine this, you're trying all you could, the best you could to try and bring the club up. You really are trying. But the fans are all against you, shouting and cheering for another dude's name right in your face. How would you feel? Hurtful ain't it? Come on. Cut the man some slack. Respect him, let him leave with some dignity. He has been a decent bloke. He's wished us well in his leaving statement.

But I can't deny. Hodgson hasn't prove himself being " revolutionary". I think this is what the club needs now, after a so-so 09/10 season. The fans expected a change. And change indeed we've gotten from Roy. A real bad change. Worst season so far. But seriously? Blaming the manager when the team is not performing? Some said he had failed to lift the team's spirit. He had failed this and that. But considering all the players in the squad are all experienced and pro, shouldn't they know what they're facing? Shouldn't they know what lies ahead of them? Shouldn't you work and earn your own wages instead of waiting for someone else to " lift your spirit" to win the match?

True, supports are very important. But I really do think the players have not put in their 100% in this half season. They might be thinking that " now I've got the manager to blame. since everyone thinks that he's a failure". I am in no position to judge.

So now that he has left. Roy that is. And Kenny Dalglish is back! As all the fans wished. My only hope is that this really works out for Liverpool. If not, who are we gonna blame on this time?

Lets hope that The King manage to bring the club back to the glory we used to have. Lets hope that he could do the magic he did again 20 years ago when he was the club's manager. Lets hope we move forward from now on.

YNWA

Grey’s brought out the grey in me

2011-01-08T00:07:00.001+08:00

Spared myself a good 45 minutes away from all the exam stuff just now. And boy, I’m glad I did. No, no guilt there as I was doing something I enjoyed.

Grey’s Anatomy finally came out with another new episode after the 4 weeks hiatus! Finally!! I’m that addicted that my life felt incomplete without it wtf. lol

And this post began to feel like some promotional post for GA. Trust me, they doesn’t need that. =) I’ve started watching this show not too long ago, maybe 4 years back, when they’ve already produced 4 seasons. Borrowed the DVDs from Wern and watched all 4 seasons in a few weeks’ time. It’s that good! And I can very well said that I’ve never felt bored watching this show. Shonda Rhimes is really good at writing it. Never once was I bored watching it, I think it’s the only show that I watch because I want to instead of just obligation. Well, Bones also la.. but I only started watching it mid-season.. blehhh

Of course there were times when I think the stories were dry and unpractical. But what can I say, life gets dry and unpractical sometimes, guess the writer is just trying to reflect. (yes i’m making excuses for my favourite show =P ) For one, I didn’t really like season 5 with all the Izzie hallucination crap. And season 6 was a bit slow and drifted in my opinion.

But BAMM!! They came back with season 7 with a mind blowing premier after the BANG-ing (literally) season 6 finale. Season 7 makes me fall in love with Grey’s all over again! Not that I fell out of love with it anyways… but yea. It’s like “ like a virgin, touch for the very first time..” ( I still remember how Cristina was singing this song while cutting up the cadavers lol ) I suppose reborn/rebirth would be the word to describe it.

And the latest episode! AWESOME stuff! It reminds me again and again why I’m so addicted to it at the first place! Surgeries! Lots and lots of it! And the Love! Overflowing. Dramas! Shown how the characters have grown and learn. Man. How I love Karev now that he has become this kickass hardcore paediatrician, no longer the ass-faced bustard.

It has got me thinking, wondering and doubting. Why haven’t I apply for Medicine? Instead I go for pharmacy. In that short 40 minutes just now, the sudden urge of going into Medicine jiggled again somewhere deep inside me. Seriously? Not at this time please. My UCAS applications already handed in and I’m getting replies for Unis already.

To be honest, I love medicine. More than pharmacy I could say. But what I love and what I could do is totally two different things. I could love it for all the wrong reasons in the world. And I’m aware that TV series have been giving us all the wrong perception about what medicine is really like. Besides, I don’t have the courage to take the risk. I’m not a gambler. The risk is too big. So big that I have to step out from my comfort zone, which is to stick to the stuff that I’m confident about. Pharmacy seems to be like a safe choice.

If. If only I could lead a double life. Then, I would take the risk, and put one of the me into the bet. Try out for doing medicine. OR. If I’m given the chance to try and yet I get to go back to my starting point when I realise it doesn’t suit me. Then I would give it a try. But no, life is not some virtual The Sim’s game that I could reboot. So no, I’m not taking the risk. It will remain to be something I love. But only something that I love that I love. Just, that way.

Recap 2010

2011-01-06T19:46:00.001+08:00

Though it’s 7 days past 2010, I still think this is necessary. =D

2010 has been good to me! Just a smooth calm year. Comparatively. I can’t remember so much excitement about it. That’s just how calm it has been. heh

For once, there’s no
MAJOR exams. Just modules. =x
MAJOR heartbreaks! gosh I’ve learnt enough.
The need to apply for scholarships. Which I’ll soon have to suffer this year. >=(
The need to make new friends. I dont think I’ve made any this year. lol

Yes it has been a low market. I’m not complaining.
It’s this drama-less year that gave me the chance to explore on what I’ve already had in my hands. Instead of constantly learning and adapting, (my receptor membrane gets to rest and retain their sensitiveness towards stimuli. Too much Bio wtf) I get to sit down and enjoy the things and people I have around me. That doesn’t happen really often to me I suppose. And I’m thankful for a chance like this.

Let’s see, I’ve
Did well in my exams. No complains.
Spent time with family.
Spent time with my friends. Old and new ones. It has been GREAT!
Watched damn lot of movies. =D and forgot what half of them is bout. XD
Get to know people better. Someone that I did not expect to.
Got a new phone! like finally after *insert a really big number* years.
Got a new camera too! oh <3

So yea. I have no reason to say that 2010 has been bad to me. At least for now. I can’t think of any.. teehee..

now, back to mugging! RAWR

Just a thought

2011-01-03T19:05:00.000+08:00

Sometimes. Well just sometimes, I thought of not bother bout this blog anymore. It just seems like no one is visiting.. Cept lots of spammers.. Hmm..

But no.. It'll be rather impossible for me to cancel this blog. It has been with me for years!! =O so yea.. I'll update soon I hope. Gaaah.. I've been saying this too often.. BBQ party not update yet.. Tao not yet.. Langkawi not yet.. HK not yet.. Blaaaaaa.. The deadline will be.. Hmm.. Before the end of feb...? Heh.. By that time I'm a free soul! No more exams, no more class! Yes I hope I will find some time with those long post.
=)

oh so real

2010-12-19T18:13:00.000+08:00

it was really cold last night.
and the bed is really uncomfortable.. =/

I had the weirdest dream ever.
it was so so real.
i could feel ur warmth. the feel of ur hand and ur breath.
@.@

but when i woke up, i couldnt remember anything but that.
very frustrating! i woke up when the best part is bout to happen. >:(
now i'm left with nothing but those vague memories.

It's so freaking real!
you asked if i listen to music..
and you passed me ur phone! ur phone, it's the exact same model that you're using now.
and you played this song. which means the world to me now that i cant freaking remember what song is that.
i only remembered at that time, it was exactly what you meant to tell me, and what i meant to tell you.
even the song title hits right at the bull's eye. but now i cant remember a thing bout it!

i would do anything, to have that dream again tonight.
the way you looked at me. it's worth the sweetest words in the world. totally melted in it.
that, is enough for me.
i'm missing you, alot.
did not realise that till now. =)

*now that i re-read my post, i'm such a goner.. sigh*

Abroad and away..

2010-12-18T12:16:00.000+08:00

HONG KONG!!! I'm coming...! =D

Better be good this time around.. Heh

yea

2010-12-12T22:43:00.000+08:00

something Red Green and White! =D

2010-12-09T21:34:00.000+08:00

Christmas is coming!!!

omg i dunno why but I'm feeling really excited bout it..
most prolly because i just watch the episode of Glee.. Totally Christmasy.. ^^

I hope this year's Christmas will be nice.. no more walking around HK watching ppl caroling please.. haha

Yes i'm kinda hyper now.. feeling the spirit..
or more like, I'm feeling happy today.. today is a happy happy day..
which do not make any sense.. it's my last day of college.. yea.. no more going to class.. but i'll be going back for exams and stuff.. but still, it's different.. totally different..

There's no place for me in college now.
There's no more classes for us anymore.
We wouldn't have the chance to hang out in classroom before lecturer come in.
No more playing in the class, gossiping, sitting on table.

I'm most definitely gonna miss my classmates no matter how "pain in the ass" they are.
I'm gonna miss all the times we had together as a class.. all the disagreement and pranks and thing we do together, be it by force or willingly.. heh..
I'm gonna miss all my lecturers.
The way they yelled at us, mock us, taught us.

Basically I'm just gonna miss everyone. heh.. even the janitor that locked me in the toilet.. XD

I'll do a proper post that marks the end of A Level when I get hold of the photos. =)
Till then. Do know that I'll miss every single one of you.

Eye Candy!

2010-12-07T20:04:00.001+08:00

Found my new eye candy!!! ^^
oh mai…. he is so so so handsome..
charming smile.. yes i totally dig that.. *melts in the inside*

I know i’m kinda slow.. it’s old news d… but oh well.. it’s not my fault that starworld is just showing the 12th season of The Bachelor isnt it.. =P

HE IS SO GOOD LOOKING!!
brits summor… double <3
Accent summor.. triple <3ss..
aaahh.. *_*

Handsome kan…??

totally pull off the rugged look.. ^^

But still… look best with his shaved head!!! OMG~

oh yes yummy.. XD

'nuff said..

2010-12-06T23:37:00.000+08:00

this is the closest I could get for a birthday present.. hehh..
p/s. there is no thumb print this time.. XD

You toss it in the trash

2010-12-05T00:32:00.001+08:00

Easy come, easy go
That's just how you live, oh
Take, take, take it all,
But you never give
Should of known you was trouble from the first kiss, Had your eyes wide open -
Why were they open?
Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in the trash
You tossed it in the trash, you did
To give me all your love is all I ever asked, Cause what you don't understand is
I’d catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah)
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah) Oh, oh
I would go through all this pain, Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby

But you won't do the same

Rapunzel

2010-12-05T00:05:00.001+08:00

Went out with wern on Friday.. =) just a girl thing, to hang out and to watch Rapunzel! Have no idea why they’ve changed the name to Tangled overseas.. =.= her hair doesn’t even tangle.. AT ALL!

Anyways.. wern picked me up 12 something.. den we headed to TCM. Funny thing is.. we both didnt check the movie time.. haha.. we just assumed that the time is right for us.. XD

so when we reach there.. found out that the only 2 convenient timing will be at 1 something and 3.. so we got the 3 something one and headed for lunch at Sushi Tei.. she’s always craving for sushi.. lol

The fella claims that they have no time to cut it into thinner slices.. so we have thicker salmon.. LOL

Yummaaayyyy (Y)

the epic “Don’t steal my food” look.. >.<

See see.. evidence.. so clumsy! =P

and only going out with her we’ll be taking photos in the toilet.. ~.~

And and.. Rapunzel is a nice movie.. laugh at all the stupid funny parts..
I can’t help but wonder what brand of shampoo she use.. her hair super strong kan??!! LMAO.. see.. proof of aging interfering with your ability to enjoy a simple cartoon like that..

I would say that there’s a Rapunzel living in every girl. Somewhere, somehow there’s a place in there that will to be like her. To be able to believe and trust someone fully. To have faith in something. To hope for the impossible. To fall for the bad boy. To wish to have someone like Eugene. No matter how unreal and unlikely that would be happening. =)

Disney pictures are beautiful..

Saint like

2010-12-01T17:55:00.000+08:00

Being a saint like.. or as much a i tried to today.. practically sucks! arrgh!!

And when ppl said.. 助人为快乐之本.. are they saying the person we helped will be 快乐 or we will be 快乐...? I'm pretty sure it's not the latter.. cuz it's definitely not how I'm feeling now...

heh.. i dunno what went into me at that moment.. Like a mixture of feeling pitiful for her.. or trying to be a good friend..?
or simply because i know it's the nice and right thing to do... pfft.. how i hope that feeling would last.. XD
then i wouldn't have to feel so sorry for myself now.. man!!

so it was raining heavily after class.. everyone got stuck at KPD E.. including you know who la.... >.<
so he turned around and saw me holding the umbrella.. he was indicating the umbrella and crossing over to KPD D with his evern charming smile.. *melts*
and me.. being extremely dumb and mad i dunno what on earth went into my mind at the split second.. I asked this classmate of mine. whom i know have a thing for him too.. to send him over instead... she feeling so happy now.. and me here feeling pretty darn miserable for myself...

ARRRGHHH!!! somebody please slap or kill me now!

Day 11

2010-11-28T19:28:00.001+08:00

Dear Deceased person I wish I could talk to,

I miss you. Every minute everyday. As cliché as it may sound, it seems like yesterday when everything feel so perfect.

It doesn’t mean that I didn’t think bout you even when I’ve never say it out loud. Now that you’re gone, no one’s gonna pat my head like you used to. No one is there to tell me I did a good job. No one is there to be with me when I’m alone. No one is there to reassure me no matter what I’m going through.

You’ve never fail to compliment me. On the smallest insignificant thing I do.

It hurts me every time to think bout you. I feel so bad.
I know we are at fault. Well at least I am, to do those things to you.
You deserve better. Much much more than this. You’ve sacrifice your whole life, bringing up the family. And yet, this is the treatment you’ve got. It kills me to see the pain in your eyes. The pain that you’ve never voice. You never complain. You think it would be easier and hassle-free for us now that you’ve offer it yourselves. But no. It kills me. It still does. Until now. If only I could afford to. I would. I swear.

I know how much you hated being away from your family. I know how much you hated being there feeling all alone. I am truly sorry you have to spend the last few months of your life that way. I am truly sorry that I’m not there by your side when you breathed your last breath. And I will bear the guilt with me. For as long as I live. If only I could turn back time. This will be the thing I regretted most in my life.

I miss the times where you just sit with me, telling me stories about what was. You always managed to calm me down no matter how agitated I felt. And now, I have to do this all on my own. You’ve never got the chance to see how well I did. Or so that’s what I thought. I kept my promises for you. But you’re not there to see it. I remembered all the things I said I wanna show you, bring you to. But I’ve never given the chance to. If only you could come back. For one more day.

I miss you dearly. I hope you know. You’re not forgotten. Never. And I love you. To bits.

belated.. my classmates.. =D

2010-11-28T15:59:00.001+08:00

this year’s birthday is different.
I have my classmates and ex classmates kinda planning it together for me.
ex classmates letting me know everything.. and classmates kinda want it to be a surprise for me. End result : busted.. hahaha

so.. classmates 1st.. we went for our usual friday badminton session at Cuepacks. Don’t ask me.. it’s insanity how we travelled so far there for badminton.. heh..

After that, went shokchen’s house to shower and stuff.. the guys went to Edward’s house instead.. and mind you.. it’s around 5-6 pm.. which means.. FREAKING JAM in the MRR2 and all.. *though i have no idea where this MRR2 is.. only heard them saying.. >.< * anyways..

So we arrived 1st at the restaurant.. =D
It’s my first time having a real Korean BBQ..
and the best thing bout it, it’s Kim’s parent’s shop. Kim is this classmate of mine. Bubbly girl.. super direct! funny like nobody’s business.. tell you later.

We asked her to recommend us the food there.. she was like.. “er… you want me to call the chef here?” LOL… kua jiong betul.. but we didnt.. so in the end.. the others just order something.. which i have no idea what.. just sapu only.. XD

And and.. when the rice came.. shok chen was telling us that they cook the rice differently cause they steam it instead of the normal way.. and she tried to ask for assurance from Kim.. here goes..

SC: how you all cook the rice one a? steam it right…?
Kim: huh.. we cook it using rice cooker. *very serious face*

man! i tell you i was laughing like crazy… super za dou moment.. after that.. half way eating.. we were talking bout our favourite sportsmen… we mentioned bout Lee Yong Dae.. just in case you have no idea who he is.. he is this Korean Men’s doubles dude.. Kim’s eyes went like O_O “ how you all know him??!!”
see.. she super cute kan.. XD

heh.. didnt take much pic on the food.. lum came late.. and we dont have camera.. and we were.. or at least I was super hungry.. so just eat eat eat only.. apparently they were all very full after that.. but i still sapu.. so yea.. =.=

the girls : me.. shok chen, shenn and KIM!!

I promise she’ll kill me if she knows i posted this up.. XD

Sheun’s bf.. ah ngiap.. lol

see.. hers..

HO YAN LE..!! never fails to annoys me.. haha

and Lum pepe also.. XD

this hoong yeap.. no comment man.. lol.. dude you need to talk to her!!

Kim! i asked her why isnt she smiling.. and she went like “=B braces..” lol

Sheun.. =D

Joshy!! man.. the guy that blushes talking to Mr Ronnie.. (Y)

My gay brothers.. =)

All in all.. i think it’s a great night.. and the restaurant is good!
if not mistaken it’s call Arirang.. situated in Korean Village.. in Ampang..

The price is reasonable.. according to my friends.. and the food is not bad.. I cant really compare as it’s my 1st time.. heh.. would go there again if I’ve got the chance to.. =)

Back To December

2010-11-28T13:02:00.000+08:00

I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life, tell me how's your family
I haven't seen them in a while
You've been good, busier then ever
We small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up and I know why

'Cause the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind
You gave me roses and I left them there to die

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I'd go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right
I'd go back to December all the time

These days I haven't been sleeping
Staying up playing back myself leaving
When your birthday passed and I didn't call
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side and,
Realized I loved you in the fall
And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I'd go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I'd go back to December all the time

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night,
The first time you ever saw me cry
Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
If we loved again I swear I'd love you right

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't
So if the chain is on your door, I understand

But this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I'd go back to December
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I'd go back to December all the time

All the time

Let me know.

2010-11-27T19:33:00.000+08:00

Heh.. I think it's all in my head.. =P

I like how when you said Nike.. And look over at my direction with that shy cheeky smile of yours and half expecting me to mock you again..
THAT makes me feel special. Top of the world feeling yo! XD

I hope this is real to certain extend and not just my imagination.. Heh

Desperately needed a reason to feel special! ~.~

=(

2010-11-23T22:17:00.001+08:00

I AM ALIVE!!!!

just abandoned this place for quite some time.
and yes now i'm back cuz i have nowhere else better to go.. i'm stuck at the same place again..
doing things i shouldn't do.. thinking bout stuff that i shouldnt be thinking bout.. =(

have not eat my dinner yet...

pfft....

i really should be studying.. but my mind is totally not in it.. with all these going on in my mind now, i can kiss my bio mock goodbye d.! all ur fault!!! uggh

been stalking alot lately.. heh.. the wonders of the World Wide Web..
and now i totally get what they meant when ppl say that "some things are best left unknown"..
indeed.. i am not happy after finding out..
just when you thought you are special and things are going great for you...
you gotta be waken up from ur dream and burst that nice comfy little bubble..
and THERE! smack right in your face!
things could have been better.. what you're getting now is not even half as good as what others got ages ago..
things like that makes it hard to be contented with whatever lemonade shit life gave you.

the only thing that managed to go through ur mind is that..
LIFE IS FUCKING UNFAIR!!!

i deserved better. it's a selfish thought.

and yes i'm still thinking bout what ifs.
such a sucker.

why cant you be more open bout it.. den i dont have to pry.. i dont have to be so damn interested..
it's not right.. might get sued any moment for prying but i cant help it!

i'm annoyed! i wanna know everything! this sucks.

it's all the stress talking now!!!!

Day 10

2010-10-23T13:11:00.000+08:00

Dear Someone I don’t talk to as much as i'd like to,

Hi. I hope you have not notice that I've been trying to find every opportunity I can to talk to you, or, to listen to you talk. Reason being, I love it when you talk. Lol

It has been that way since the first time I get to talk to you one on one. As cliche as it sounds, you managed to open up my eyes. You showed me a side of you that no one else has seen. I hope. >.<

And I enjoyed talking to you.

Your experiences have made you more insightful towards certain things. It's always good to get a second opinion from you. And most of the time, you made me changed my mind cuz your opinion makes more sense to me.

But sadly, you don't really like to talk. To me. Or to anyone else for the record. You've always keep a distance between yourselves and everyone else. Yes, rather hurtful. =(

You always seems to be so busy. With what I don't really wanna know. But the rejection is clear. You always have better things to do than to listen and spend some time with us. It's different compared to others. The barrier is there. And you made it clear that you want it there.

I have wish so hard that you might one day change your mind towards this matter and open up to us. I've miss the 1st time when we had a proper talk together. Just the both of us. You make a good listener. For once I feel that the surrounding doesn't matter. Cuz you have been paying utmost attention to what I've been saying. And your undivided attention when giving me your thoughts.

It has brought you closer to me. So, I wish I could talk to you more often but I don't have the chance to.

I dreamed A Dream

2010-10-18T21:16:00.000+08:00

I dreamed a dream in days gone by
When hope was high and life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving

Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
As they turn your dream to shame

And still I dreamed she'll come to me
That we would live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be
So diff'rent from this hell I'm living
So diff'rent now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed

I dreamed a dream.. Because that's the only place where you came true in my life. =)

Day 9

2010-10-09T13:47:00.001+08:00

Dear Someone I wish I could meet,

I”m hoping I have the chance to tell you “ Nice to meet you.”
Yes I wish we have the chance to.

We are not exactly friends. I’ve heard things bout you. I felt like I know you. Yes we have been introduced to each other over messages. But no. I just haven’t met you yet.

I wish that I could meet you up in person. I wish I could hear your voice. You seems like a pretty interesting person to me. Talented. You see things differently. I feel like I could just listen to you talk and find it really entertaining.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s possible to like or feel this way towards someone that you’ve never meet but have heard so much about.

Sometimes I feel like a stalker.

To be honest, I’m not that kinda person that get impressed easily. And I do not approve and think very much of things that others do. But I find myself in awe with the things you do. You have a queer eye.

I do hope that somewhere down the years, we could be real friends. Not just friends that only acknowledge each other’s existence but never have some real bonding. I wish I could meet you and we could get close. You are some kinda character that I’m drawn towards for reasons that I’ve yet to understand.

So I wish we could have the chance to meet and be good friends. =)

Day 8

2010-10-09T13:35:00.001+08:00

Dear Favourite Internet Friend,

I don’t have one. And i’m really not looking forward to having one. So, this is it.

Petroscience Trip

2010-10-01T13:22:00.001+08:00

This is waaaay overdue.. now only I got the time to sit down and post bout it. heh.. \

27.08.2010

it was a friday… drop at Ivan’s house then headed over to Adrian’s and to Xing’s.. When Diao is already waiting at the LRT.. heh..

Took LRT to KLCC! wee.. it’s my 1st time going to Petrosains. Heh.. i know, sad childhood. I’ve never been to Petrosains.. >.<

Wanted to go the skybridge.. but because we are too late..! =.=
and there are this bunch of school kids that have already took ALL our tickets! =.= x2

so we went over to the food court to have a quick breakfast before going in..

Look at the difference between my pointer and Ad’s pinky.. o.O

And the EVIL dude look so damn innocent here.. XD

So… blablabla.. we queued and bought tickets and went into that place..

I’m lazy to type mainly cause i cant really remember much d.. hehe

1st we went Muzika.. what kinda stupid name is that..

Diao posing with the guitar.. XD

Ivan posing like Buzz lightyear

DJ Xing in the house!

Plasma Tube! which diao claims to be cicak-like..

little xing-stein

Future engineers konon-nya.. =P

yes we are childish that way..

you can see how long ago is this.. haha.. my phone is even more ancient than the one on display! and i longer use that phone! bahahaha

as if 1 ivan is not chaotic enough.. x.x

The retarded T-rex that sings in BM and have 2 fingers only.. =.=

SEE!!

I know…..!!

OINION head!! OMG~ hahaha

The pendulum oscillator crap..

The air bomb which i kena kao kao from after they figure out how to work it.. >.<

Xing looks very much like those thing that came out from the morgue =x

and then turn into an astronaut

I think this is the best thing in the whole petrosains! XD
some motion sensor thingy..

muahahaha

bahaha.. ivan the alien attracts butterflies.. =D

so yea.. i think that’s basically it!

we went for repo man after petrosains… which turn out to be a extremely hilarious movie. I laughed whenever the fella start cutting people up! and dude! making out when cutting?? so much of pain is pleasure isit..? lol

Day 7

2010-10-01T11:12:00.001+08:00

whatever is said here remains here. thank you.

Dear Ex- boyfriend,

Hi. Took us long enough to go from what we were to what we weren’t to what we are today. I’m sorry I did not make things easy for you. But so do you. You never did once make my life easier. In fact, you made it worse with all the silly things you did. =)

I loved us. I loved whatever happened between us. But no, not anymore. I have come to a point to realise that nothing last forever. Especially when it’s coming out from your mouth. And I see that I’m not the only one falling for that trap.

I can very well said that i’m still in some shock one way or another because of what happened. Never once would I thought you’ll do such thing. Things went bad because I refused to give in and believe what’s happening right in front of my eyes. I’m stubborn that way.

I dunno bout you, but it’s not easy for me get through all these. Took me long enough. But thanks for teaching me a lesson. I learnt it the hard way. heh.
I think I’ve finally grown past you, I can finally face you and talk without feeling the awkwardness. But somehow, you’ve changed so much, I cant grasp any sense of familiarity. You’ve became the familiar stranger.

We are cool now i guess. Just need some proper catching up when you are not so full of yourselves thinking that everyone still have a thing for you. =D
We’ll talk I hope. Till then.

Day 6

2010-09-26T00:34:00.001+08:00

Dear Stranger,

Hi. It's nice meeting you. Thanks for making the last 5 minutes of my hour long bus ride meaningful. =)

Yes, from the moment you got on the bus and locked eyes with me, I knew you gonna sit beside me and start talking. And I thank YOU for that.

It has been a while since I last talked to someone your age. And that makes me miss my grandma. Just so much.

You are different. Unlike people of your age, I could feel that you’ve tried to keep in touch with the most recent happenings. You’ll make a good grandma. Or mother for that matter. I find it really easy to talk to you. Like there isn’t any gap between us. Well that’s not true. But you get what I meant.

Which brings me to realise, that people nowadays, our community, we are not friendly anymore. With all the social network and whatnots popping up everywhere, people are supposed to be more sociable, friendlier and all those crap. But instead, we locked ourselves in this fortress of solitude. Blocked out everyone else. All the strangers that we don’t know. We are prejudice against others. We are being very judgemental towards people that we first met, people that we know nuts about.

I’m not denying. I’m one of them. So thank you, once again. For taking the initiative to step forward. And tear down the barrier between us.

If you feel you need a friend and there are hundred steps between us, you can take the first step to get near me, I'll take all 99 steps to be there for you.

Day 5

2010-09-19T00:15:00.001+08:00

Dear dreams,

Here’s the thing. I have no idea is this referring to the dream we had when we sleep which is thought to be a topic of speculation and interest throughout recorded history and it can be explained by various theories or even as the excitations of memory when we sleep. OR, it’s referring to the dream that we all had during the day, which is thought to be aspiring us and bringing us closer to our targets in life (supposedly). and yes, i watch too much of The Big Bang Theory (Y) .

Anyways.. back to the topic. Regarding the dreams I had at night. Thank God there’s no such thing as dream sharing device like in Inception. Thank you very much I love all the moment you gave me in my dream Mr. Dream. But just lets keep it that way cause I don’t wanna share it with anyone else. =D

Though I don’t understand how there were times when you just get me out from one dream into another without even giving me a warning first. That, I dislike. >.< And also I don’t understand how you always like to drag everything and when the best part is coming, I have to wake up from my dream.. wtf #&^*##$%%&*!!!!!! The Déjà vu feeling I get sometimes. Yes I have a feeling that you’re responsible too. Maybe we should talk when we’ve got the chance to meet up or something. *cheers*

On the other hand, Mr. BIGGER dreams. I dunno where to start expressing my dissatisfaction. YOU. Gave me the weirdest idea ever! You make me believed that I could do greater things than this. But you never hang around long enough. You never stayed till the end so I had materialise this idea that you’ve infected me with. Lousy! Because of you, I have all these unexplainable dreams that I can’t put it into words. How am I to write out a personal statement that is filled with passion and love proving that I’m on my way to chasing this freaking dream of mine. gaahhh
Not to mention those big empty dreams you seeded in my frontal lobe that one day I’ll own a beach house or anything along that line. You know what I meant.

But then, I'll also have to thank you for giving me something to worry bout when I’m bored. =D And also to give me aim in life. A target for me to set my eyes on and chase after it. Whether am I capable of doing that, well that’s a different story. You kept me occupied and filled. I suppose that’s your greatest achievement to date. mehh.. Just note that your existence is what made life beautiful. <3

Sweet dreams til sun beams find you
Sweet dreams that leave our worries behind you
But in your dreams. whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me

Shern Yang’s Farewell

2010-09-16T11:53:00.001+08:00

was last sunday. yes that dude is leaving. to manchester. where he promised he’ll take the one hour train down to liverpool to get me the Gerrard Jersey. And also a hoodie from Manchester U. We’ll see. O.o

got him a jacket from Topman with friends. Have yet to see him in one of those colour.. hmm..

The farewell was kinda like a bad dream to me. Which can pretty much be explained by the lack of photos. =/
no i’m not putting myself through anything like that where i’m threatened and feeling all inferior and lost in a group of people. and hell NO i’m not going anywhere without my gang of people where I belong and make noises and THEY do not freaking judge me with that kinda look in the eyes.

But all in all, it was a not bad night. Get to catch up with Pn.Leow who i haven’t seen for ages. Just so you know, I spent 70% of the night talking to her and Yang’s dad and cousins. I’m lifeless that way.

Anyhow, take care dude. =)
and not forgetting my presents and take lots of photos from Manchester.

Day 4

2010-09-16T11:40:00.001+08:00

Dear Brother!

1st up, you are the most annoying fella i’ve ever met on Earth. And yet, I couldn’t bring myself to stab you (not literally) like how I used to stab all the others that annoy the shit out of me! heh

But on the other hand, you could be such a clown. Most of the time. When you’re in a good mood. You say the stupidest thing I have ever heard. You made laugh like an idiot listening to all your nonsensical conversation with Mum. Of course not forgetting the times you made me wanna punch you right on your big nose!

Yes i’m a very evil sister. >=)

Anyways, thank you for bringing me into the world of FOOTBALL.. now i’m so damn cool compared to those geeks that know nuts bout football. muahaha..
and to make me laugh
and fight with me
and argue
and not letting me watch the tv programme that I wanted
and being such an ass..

ohman. i realise now that i cant say anything nice for more than 2 sentences.. LOL

so here it goes. Just to make you happy dude. (so that my life would be easier)

Long Live Arsenal!!!

on a side note… what’s Arsenal without the n-a-l.. LOL

Ronnie is so awesome! XD

Day 3

2010-09-16T11:24:00.001+08:00

Dear Parents,

=)
<3

actually.. what you guys need to know is that I LOVE YOU to bits. =D
Other stuff like..
Who i’m interested in..
What do I think of Ivan..?
What about Adrian and Kai and Xing..?
No.. those are not important.. (you don’t really wanna know anyways..TMI)

so yea.. really.. i dunno what else to say.. =/

I know i’m not exactly the bestest child you all expected. Of course there were timeS when I just pissed you guys off.. like beyond your imagination. But do know that I have reasons behind everything I do. AND.. i know what the heck i’m doing! so stop worrying bout me alright. yes, it ticks me off most of the time when you all just couldn’t understand.. uggh..

I think we were together as a family for some good reasons. So i guess it’s a good thing that we managed to stick through it so far.. mehh.

ohman.. this is so hard to write.. i’m gonna stop babbling and talking some shit ass nonsense.. just remember that i love you all. =)

Day 2

2010-09-10T20:19:00.001+08:00

Dear Crush,

for starters…

HELLO!!

yes you do. I hope you doesn’t know. heh.. maybe I do. No. I think I don’t. It’ll be beyond embarrassing if you’d know. But, aren’t you smart enough to figure this out..? ok really, please tell me you dunno.. >.<

I would call this interest at first sight instead of love at first sight. teehee.. you had this thing about you. I never thought much of you at first. But you have this ability to grow on people. And you grew on me. =)

Can you even like someone that you barely know….? I’m spellbound by your charm. How easily you can make my day seems so perfect. Just one word, one smile or even just one look. Darn, I’m a goner for you.

It’s true that I don’t really know you. Like really. So I guess this is 101% crush. And it’s not like there is any chance at all for us. seriously. haha.. for no reason whatsoever. But I’m so drawn to you. Everything you said just burnt into my memory.. >.< and i think i sound like a freaking obsessive stalker now. or some bimbotic teenage girl. ~.~ but but but, you really makes me feel like some kid finally getting the ice cream she’s been longing! ohmyword.

I like your smile.
I like your scent.
I like your voice.
I like your charm.
I like your funny gestures.
I like your retarded jokes.
I like how caring, responsible and loving you are.
I like how you gave me the perfect guy impression.
I like how safe your silhouette makes me feel.
Basically, I just like everything I know about you.

And I think I’m really crazy. How simple little things you did can make me happy for days. Yes i’m dysfunctional that way.. XD

You make me feel really special when you gave me that look of yours. *melts*
(I’m pretty sure I’m just being perasan in every way.. for all I know, you look at everyone that way.. mehhh..)

And I’m contented with the way things are now. It’s not our time. I’m just really grateful that our lives even cross path at the first place. You’ve make my years on earth so much joyful!

And yes, I’ve a crush on you. =)

Day 1

2010-09-09T21:49:00.001+08:00

Dear Best FriendS,

yes up till this moment i still cannot decide on which of you to write this to.. and how many of you is this dedicated to.. it’s not like i have alot of best friends, it’s just that, i could not quite decide. =) so, imma give each of you a paragraph. =D

You, are the last person that I thought I’ll be best friends with. It really never occurred to me. My first impression of you, is this girl that gives really weird comments. >.< and it wasn’t love at first sight. I think the situation we were in gave us a chance to know each other better. And it’s that chance that brought us to where we were today. =) I have to say, thank you for being 101% YOU. Honestly, you never agree on something that is against your character. haha.. I guess that’s why we had our countless fights. Small fights that is. If it wasn’t for you, I dunno how am i gonna pull through all those phases i was in (you know what i’m talking bout). You were there when i’m beyond frustrated about things. You listened to me complain and complained together with me. (Y) I think we are like sisters now. ok.. maybe not. LOL totally different genes. Now that I think bout it, we have grew passed so many things together. We have seen each other grow. Mentally that is. I remember how childish we used to be. Doing all the wrong things together. And now, you have kinda settled down, and yet I’m still bumping around. XD nevertheless, I still love you. (did i hear awwww… ) lol

And you, I don’t even know whether I should consider you my best friend. ok that sounds so bad.. >.< but because of the things we have been through together. well… not to say alot. but I think were rather important! It’s not like I’ve know you for long. no wait, scratch that. I have know you. For damn long. But I don’t know you. You were just a name among all the other names. Until last year. You truly overwhelmed me. Sorry to say, I’m not the type that go buddy buddy once I’d know you. So yes, I find you extremely intimidating. Best part, I dunno why and how we even got close. XD we are so different. =/ There were this period of time when we were so close, we were inseparable. We spend all our time hanging out together. And yes, I really missed those times we had together. Because now, things are different. I’m not gonna lie and said that everything is ok. I’m gonna be down right honest and tell you that you’ve hurt me in ways that nobody else did. I don’t understand how small little things you did and did not do hurt me like crazy. I don’t understand why I’d have to care so much about what you do. And I think we are growing apart now. a bit. even though we still text each other, on and off. But I feel the awkwardness now. You gave me the impression that “oh, I’ve found someone more interesting now so you’re my reserve”.. and I hated that. It makes me mad sometimes I feel like never to talk to you again. RAWR but when you are there. deng, I cant get mad at you and I don’t the hell know why. And i sound like i’m freaking in love with you but i’m not. Actually I’m quite mad at you now! >=O it’s so contradicting. pfft. I just hope you know that I dont like being ignored and I would love to me part of the things you do. And I love you to bits. More than I’d want myself to. we need to talk and patch things up woman.

You are a massive jerk at times. But i still like to tell you stuff even though you za me like crazy. Freaking pondan. =D

YOU are the entertainment when I’m feeling bored. haha.. by just looking at you, i already feel tiny bit better. yes. you surely know how to destress me. XD

and i noticed one thing you guys had in common with each other. I never like any of you at first sight. lol.. yes i dislike my best friends before we became best friends. Thank you guys for being you and for being there for me. =)

Lots Of Love

30 Days Letter Challenge

2010-09-09T21:05:00.001+08:00

Came across this tumblr when I was blog hopping… find it to be rather interesting.. at least this takes my mind off some things. So yes, I’m taking up this “challenge”. lol

And I hope I have candidate for each day.. meh..

WRITE A LETTER TO THESE PEOPLE :

Day 1 — Your Best Friend

Day 2 — Your Crush

Day 3 — Your parents

Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)

Day 5 — Your dreams

Day 6 — A stranger

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 23 — The last person you kissed

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

Imma bee

2010-09-07T19:00:00.000+08:00

I'd really love to blog.. =(
But with all the homework and tests and PERSONAL STATEMENT piling up.. I just can't find the time to...
Have got so much to update bout.. All I need is more time..

Kinda bummed that MABECS and ms lai thought differently of my ps.. Gosh.. I vomit blood and everything to write that frigging thing out.. And now they are telling me two completely different things that they wanted!! How la you want me to write for you now??!
So envy of Haran as MABECS ppl thought he did a good job.. Even Josh likes his ps.. Pfft... I think it's more like my English problem.. Meh!

Having maths test tmr.. And prolly physics too.. Gah
Den bio's will be after raya.. And IELTS after that... Gosh... And when I thought sem3 will be relaxing and slumber.. =(

Was quite disappointed when ms lai told me bout my raw marks for chem.. Uugh.. Guess I need better luck next time.. Screw some lousy moderation..
Screw binomial distribution!

Welcome Kiddo

2010-09-05T21:39:00.001+08:00

I’m a happy girl.. =D

Gotten my new desktop.. er.. more like my family’s new desktop.. on Merdeka day.. lol.. super like it lo.. ^^
Compare to our ancient lappie.. this is like fooh! to die for..

cool right cool right.. 21.5” full HD wide screen LCD monitor.. haha.. such a geek.. =P
but it’s really empty inside.. for now.. no folders nothing.. heh.. yet to transfer everything else from the old lappie..
even the music library is empty.. all i had was the Step Up 3D soundtrack that i just downloaded.. so… the song that kept playing was..

You know I know how
To make em stop and stare as I zone out
The club can't even handle me right now
Watchin you I'm watchin you we go all out
The club can't even handle me right now (yeahhhhh)
The club can't even handle me right now (yeahhhhh)

LOL.. yes.. cool that way.. XD

oh oh.. and.. I’ve FINALLY gotten a new phone!! aah~

and behold.. to my new baby.. BakBak!!!! hahaha..
it’s white.. hence the name.. =D
since Jo named hers Snowy.. and i’m not much of a snowy snowhite snowball person.. BakBak sounds cool.. hehehe

I’ve yet to get used to this phone.. but it’s cool.. heh.. i’m contented with what i have now… (besides the fact that Apple came out with a new PodPod that makes me go ^&$%^#^&&)

Can't wait..

2010-08-30T23:30:00.000+08:00

I WILL update on Langkawi (which is really looong btw).. and also yan's BBQ thingy when I get my new com.. ^^ the lappie officially died.. Exhausted I think.. And I don't want it to crash or anything cuz I haven't back up all the files pictures and musics inside.. =x

And and.. Blogging really take up lots of memory and the lappie can't really monotask. So.. Don't bother bout multitasking.. Lol..

So long my dears.. Wait for the arrival of my new toy! =D *excited*

Leader my foot

2010-08-25T11:49:00.000+08:00

I have no freaking idea how someone can call themselves leader.. Or claims that they are better than their siblings in whatever way they can think of.. When in my opinion, is just foolishly childish in every way.

You can't get a simple thing done. You can't organize anything well. You love to procrastinate and wait till last minute for EVERY SINGLE DAMN THING YOU DO.

Deng. I don't care if you are like that with others. But now that it has got something to do with me. You bloody tick me off. Ultimately!

Seriously. Don't gimme any "I'm a good organizer/leader" bullshit. Next time I will just screw you there right in front of your face.

Tersumbat.

2010-08-22T22:54:00.000+08:00

gosh.. super irritated now that i'm stuck halfway writing my personal statement. >=O
I noticed how horrible my english is. can't even structure a sentence properly..
cant convey what i'm trying to say.
And worst, dunno how to continue writing after my introduction.
The introduction might not be appropriate at the 1st place. knn.
seriously, writer's block much..? arrgh.
or am i being too anxious on doing this perfect. maybe i should just write whatever that comes to mind and edit it after that...? pretty sure i have to do countless draft before i could submit it in.. pfft

I wanna go back there again.. and chill and let my mind relax. =/

Yahoo~

2010-08-19T21:05:00.001+08:00

Gotten my results today!!! Weee~
I'm contented with it... Never expected my physics to get A lo.. Seriously! I'm pretty sure they gave us very high moderation.. >.< if only I can see my raw marks.. I think I'll faint... Haha But on the other hand.. Was quite disappointed with my chem.. 7 more marks den I could stand a chance to get World Achiever Award.. =( but nvm la.. Good enough d.. Owh and so is my maths... 7 marks also.. What is this man.. 7 is suppose to be a lucky number.. But apparently not mine lo... RAWR And BIO!!!! ohemgeee... Super happy wei! I retook my bio cuz I've gotten B tue last time.. This time.. I've gotten full marks!! Hehehe.. So yea.. This time only bio full marks.. >.< but still.. 2 more marks.. Heh

Anyhow.. Bio wouldn't really be my pride though.. The course that I wanted to take.. They only care bout chem.. Bummer max! Pfft.. Should I retake my chem4 and C3...? =/

Ooh ooh ooh.. And.. Youknowwho texted me today when we went BBQ shopping at Cold Storage just now! No.. Nobody should mention his name here... Sssh.. I super duper excited max k.. His message damn cute! =D
And of course you'll look good in Liverpool's home kit... Awww~
I know I'm a goner.. Once again.. Hehe

Today is a happy day! Weeeeee